On July 21st, my husband and I celebrated our nine year anniversary. Four of those years I was a veterinarian, and the four years before that I was in veterinary school. Needless to say, veterinary medicine has been a large part of our married life so far. It’s had its ups and downs, but I couldn’t have done it without him. This is my attempt at an anniversary gift for my husband, and it’s late, of course. Sorry, Honey! The following is a list of pros and cons of being married to a veterinarian. There are quite a few cons, and I don’t want to make myself look just terrible, so we’ll start with the cons and I’ll attempt to redeem myself and my profession with the pros at the end. Cons - Or The Things that Make Life Interesting 1. We’re perfectionists. Living with a perfectionist can certainly have its benefits. My husband is a big picture person and I’m quite detail-oriented. Most veterinarians fit this category. In order to even get into veterinary school, most veterinary students graduate at the tops of their classes. Practicing medicine also requires someone who can focus on minute details but also the big picture at the same time. It’s no surprise these traits overflow into the home and cause us to drive our spouses crazy. For those of you who know the Stroupes, perfectionist is not the term you would use for them. However, they do have a trend of marrying women with Type A personalities, which can make things interesting. For example: They think time is a floating goal rather than a set limit, which is just a nice way to say they are always late. Grrrr! They have to be instructed in detail how to dress for social occasions. They believe that you should use as little wire as possible to fix any fence or gate. And they believe if that cow doesn’t look quite right, we better leave it another day or two. My husband, the typical Stroupe, gets to listen to me complain about things that wouldn’t even phase him otherwise. For instance, his hatred of mowing. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not big on landscaping myself. However, the last time I mowed the lawn, it turned into a dangerous grass scavenger hunt. The “treasures” I found included cow bones, some of Patrick’s old running shoes, a piece of a hair brush, an extension cord, a hammer, and a machete. A machete! So you can imagine how interesting our home life can be sometimes. So yes, my husband gets nagged about not throwing chicken bones outside for the dogs to eat, not throwing his clothes around the front yard when he’s “cleaning” out the car, his grammar, spelling, using a coaster (just kidding on that one), sorting laundry correctly, not throwing his tea bags in the sink, and leaving machetes in tall grass to kill me. Poor guy! 2. We’re impatient. Many of you might think based on our job descriptions that veterinarians are extremely patient. Most of us are good at applying patience in our daily routine at our jobs, but I’m going to tell you that this is an act (at least in my case). When we get home from work, we’ve been pretending to be patient all day, so don’t expect us to extend that same kindness to you. While attending a veterinary meeting on client communication, I learned that it takes most doctors (including MDs), less than 20 seconds to interrupted their clients. At this point in the meeting, my husband chimed in that it takes his wife less than 10 seconds to interrupt him. That’s probably fair enough, but I punched him in the arm nonetheless. I’ll admit that after listening to long, drawn-out stories from clients all day, I sometimes zone out when my husband (or anyone), is telling me a story when I get home. My advice is to throw in a few swear words or juicy details to keep our attention. 3. We don’t like to cook. I’m sure this rule doesn’t apply to all veterinarians, however, most of my colleagues (including myself) rely on their spouses to do most of the cooking. We do like to eat, though. If you marry a veterinarian, you better enjoy cooking or learn how to enjoy it. My meals when my husband is out of town consist of Tuna Helper, mac ‘n cheese, and brats. My associate’s wife has also recently been out of town for a stretch of time. I have seen the leftovers he brings in progress from pre-prepped casseroles that his wife was nice enough to make to simply microwaving chicken tenders the other day. Just chicken tenders. No carbs, veggies, or starches. I think most of us vets would starve without our spouses cooking for us. That or eat takeout every night like our single counterparts. If you’re a veterinarian, show your appreciation to your spouse or significant other. Make them dinner one night. I have to make dinner when my husband is out of the house because apparently watching me cook makes him nervous, but he usually appreciates the effort at least. You could also go the lazier route and take them out to dinner if your cooking is atrocious. 4. Our schedules are unpredictable. Make a nice dinner for that veterinarian in your life? Make reservations or date plans? There’s a good chance we may have to cancel or show up late. A veterinarian may be a perfect match for you if you’re looking for someone you don’t have to actually see that often. Most veterinarians are quite familiar with the 5 P.M. emergencies on Friday evenings, which is usually an animal that has been sick for about a week. Luckily, my husband is laid back and just rolls with the craziness of my job. However, I’m sure it’s not easy at times. 5. Gross dinner conversation. Veterinarians have absolutely no concept of appropriate dinner conversation. My husband was raised on a farm, so this doesn’t really phase him at this point. Between the farmers and a veterinarian in the family, many may be shocked to hear what is discussed at Stroupe family gatherings. My sister-in-law complained after an Easter dinner because she had to listen to a 20 minute conversation about semen. As a veterinarian, it’s easy to forget that people might not want to hear about cattle reproduction or the huge abscess you lanced on a cow while they’re eating potato soup. Some family members have just stopped asking me about work, probably for this reason. While the graphic details of my job may not bother my husband, I’m sure he’s at least experienced some degree of embarrassment based on my willingness to discuss these things freely with anyone and everyone. 6. You’ll probably have a lot of pets. Yeah, we’re suckers. Our job also provides us with plenty of opportunities to adopt or foster strays. We get clients who can’t afford care for their pet and may relinquish their pets to the clinic. If you’re married to a veterinarian, you might see them walk in the door with an extra animal. They’ll say, “we’re just keeping her for a few days until I can find a home.” Five dogs later, and they’re onto you. I must say that with one dog and one cat, I haven’t gone too overboard. However, my husband has had to adjust to a different approach with pets. Being raised on a farm, the dogs were loved and cared for but were mostly outside. Harley, our current rescue, certainly spends a fair amount of time in the great outdoors, but she comes inside whenever she wants. She gets bathed, her teeth brushed, her own special dog bed, and toys. This was totally foreign to my husband at first, but I have to say he has adjusted quite well. 7. Your spouse may smell like a barn or rotting flesh. Spouses of large or mixed animal veterinarians in particular may sympathize with this one. I’ve come home many times after delivering a rotten calf, performing a cesarean, or working with pigs. None of these smells are pleasant, and most spouses of veterinarians just have to learn to deal with it. I also can’t tell you how many times Patrick has been talking to me and will all of a sudden ask, “What is in your hair?” or, “Did you see that blood on your ear?” I would suggest at least making the veterinarian in your life do their own laundry. The good news is most vets have relatively good hygiene and are motivated to clean up as quickly as possible. However, there are some smells that are just hard to get rid of. I’ve found that for the rotten flesh smell on hands, toothpaste works quite well. Pros - Or Why My Husband Keeps Me Around 1. We’ve seen it all. It’s literally impossible in most cases to gross us out, and nothing phases us. For instance, I picked up the machete that had been tossed into the long grass in our yard and basically shrugged my shoulders. Nothing surprises me. I once had a client walk in with their pet (an emergency) on a Sunday morning drunk and carrying their drink with them (at least they were a happy drunk). I’ve also had an emergency house call end with the cops being called because the neighbors were concerned for my safety. You get the picture? We know how to take in the craziness of life and roll with it. 2. “Sugar Momma/Sugar Daddy”. The only reason I'm putting this here is because 1) I don't have a lot of pros to work with, so I'm adding whatever I can, and 2) I have been given this title many times (usually by people who aren't my husband). It's true that most of the veterinarians I know are the primary breadwinners of their family. When I was a young soon-to-be bride at 21, I figured I had made the ultimate move. All of my friends thought I was getting married because I was knocked up (because that's why most women these days get married at that age). The truth is, I had met the love of my life, and like any smart woman, you know you have to trap the good ones at a young age. Turns out, he had trapped me! He could smell my ambition and overachieverness (is that a word?) from a mile away. Of course, I kid (somewhat). My husband is the man of my dreams whom I know feels the same way about me, and I don't regret for a second marrying young as it's given me even more time with him. However, I have a hard time thinking of myself as a sugar momma. Mainly because that would make Patrick a trophy husband, and we all know he doesn't clean enough to fit that title. That and he's way too mouthy. To give him a little credit, he also works very hard. If my husband did, in fact, marry me for my earning potential, he probably could have picked a better profession than veterinarian. However, it pays the bills, which I guess is good compensation for less than ideal dinner conversation. 3. We keep useful “tools” lying around. And by tools, I mean surgical instruments. Hemostats, for instance, have many uses. Like clamping a chip bag shut, tricky earring removal, pulling jammed paper strips out of a paper shredder, plucking your eyebrows, and tick removal. While using my suture scissors to remove some stitches from my husband’s leg, he yelled, “Don't pull so hard on them! I'm not a cow!” He received those stitches shortly after I graduated veterinary school. He lacerated his leg from a glass milk jug that fell out of my truck, hit the running board, and shot into his leg. While he was still saying, “F….F….F....” I had bandages ready and the doctor on the phone (only because I’m not licensed to work on humans and my husband is a big baby). Ironically, the doctor used the exact same chromic gut suture that I carried in my truck to sew him up. Dangit! We could have saved a bundle! 4. We have a winning sense of humor. If you're married to a veterinarian, they're probably the most cynical, sarcastic person you've ever met. Most of us have a pretty twisted, inappropriate sense of humor, but that just keeps life interesting! 5. We're the calm in the storm. As veterinarians, we know how to reassure people during stressful times. We make life and death decisions all the time and can assess serious problems. Crisis mode is where we shine (most of us at least). Is it a bad thing that I feel the most calm when others are having a borderline mental breakdown? That is, unless you’re a cryer. Luckily, I can count on one hand the number of times I have seen my husband cry. Because my first instinct when someone is crying is to give them a sympathetic pat on the shoulder with a broom (because touching people is weird) and leave the room. 6. We’re quite helpful with detailed, mind-numbing tasks. Veterinarians endured a grueling curriculum and years of school. We're perfectionists, as mentioned in the cons section, and we know how to work hard. I don't get to feel very useful in our home all that often, but there are times when my husband actually does need me. I proofread things for him, design resumes, organize his calendar (make sure he doesn't miss his appointments), pay bills, tax preparation, fill out forms, make budgets, and many other things that most people hate to do. It's not that I love doing these things, but I want them to be done RIGHT! I’ll conclude this post with a bit of a tribute to my husband since I’ve roasted him a little bit. And like I said, I also plan on this being our anniversary gift. Thankfully, my husband is willing to take the good with the bad. He rolls with the punches, which is one of his many great qualities. He accompanies me on my emergencies without a single complaint (even though he already does plenty of physical work at his regular full-time job). During and even before my pregnancy, he has taken over much of the sketchy, dangerous, cowboy work that I have to do after-hours. He does whatever it takes to help and protect me and Pip (our baby), and by doing so has enabled me to keep working with cattle and other big, dangerous animals during my pregnancy. I still don’t know how I’ve managed to find such a selfless, talented, hard working, and ridiculously attractive man. I’ve also somehow managed to keep such a man around! It must be my mouthy, sarcastic personality and endless good stories from my job. I want to thank my husband for being the man he was intended to be and the best partner in crime anyone could ask for. I couldn’t do what I do without you.
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This is the final part of three blogs I’ve written about depression and burnout in new graduates, so if you’re patiently waiting for something more humorous, I might have big plans to roast my husband next week. If not, and you’re trying to take some of these tips to heart and better your life, this should wrap up the discussion, but it shouldn’t wrap up your efforts to improve your work/life balance. If you feel like you’re struggling with depression and burnout because your choice of career has become too overwhelming, please take something from this and help yourself. If you’re just catching up, follow this link to the first blog in the series: Depression and Burnout in New Graduates - Part 1 And this link to the second blog: Depression and Burnout in New Graduates - Part 2 Today I will discuss a few problems that new graduates face, such as facing mistakes, dealing with self-imposed high standards, and keeping a healthy state of mind. Early “Mistakes” and High Standards We’ve established so far with my ranting that new graduates face a plethora of challenges in the first years that could lead to depression and burnout. Most veterinarians by nature are perfectionists with Type A personalities. Many find themselves over their head in their first year or two of practice. While veterinary colleges do their best to prepare you for the real world, they can’t teach you everything. It’s common for new graduates to feel haunted by certain cases. I have a number of cases from my first year of practice that I still think about. I remember their names and can picture them clear as day. If you lose a patient or get a bad outcome, particularly in your first year, it’s easy to feel that the outcome would have been different had that patient been cared for by a more seasoned veterinarian. Sometimes that is the case, and sometimes it’s not. We’re human, and yes, we do make mistakes despite our best efforts not to. It’s also important to remember that sometimes animals die no matter what we do. My colleagues and I have also observed that perhaps younger veterinarians hold themselves to different standards than some of our older counterparts. The human-animal bond has grown stronger and stronger throughout the years. Medicine practices have also changed significantly over time. Young veterinarians put a lot of pressure on themselves to practice the best medicine possible. They take on challenging medicine and surgical cases, and enjoy doing so for the most part. Older veterinarians became accustomed to treating “just a pet” while newer vets are treating beloved family members, which comes with its own pressures and standards. Many of us have seen that older practitioners find it easier to be emotionally detached from their patients. They may recommend euthanasia more frequently instead of attempting to treat a challenging case, and they may find it easier to move on from a tough interaction with a client. In just four years, I have seen huge differences in myself in some of these instances. I have found that with more experience, my feathers don’t get ruffled as easily. I am still haunted by certain cases, but I choose to view them as learning experiences instead of failures. I don’t take things personally or get as emotional when things go sideways. I’ve learned not to let one jerk or one negative interaction with a client ruin my entire day. My advice for new graduates in dealing with difficult clients? Don’t waste your time trying to explain yourself to people that are committed to misunderstanding you. Some people aren’t going to like you or be satisfied with your service no matter what you do. Always be courteous, professional, and do your best, because that’s what every client deserves. But don’t be surprised or let it eat you up inside when they show disdain for you despite your best efforts or even good outcomes. Some people are hurting and some people are just plain jerks and there’s nothing you can do about it. Go home, drink a glass of wine (or two), exercise, read a book, knit a scarf, whatever will distract you, and enjoy your friends and family. Neuroplasticity and How to Keep a Healthy Mind Those experiencing depression and burnout may feel they’re trapped in a cycle of their own emotions. New graduates may be less equipped to cope with stress, however, there is a silver lining. We now know that the brain can change at any age, and this is called neuroplasticity. Research has found that happiness is 40% perception, 50% genetics, and 10% circumstance. While genetics obviously play a strong component, perception is ALMOST just as strong. So how do we change these thought processes that may make us unhappy? There are many steps you can take toward keeping a healthy mind that I will list below. 1. Get some sleep! - The human brain needs 7-9 hours of sleep a night. I know what you’re thinking. In what virtual reality will I get this much sleep? Sleep deprivation has been found to play a role in depression, and it at least makes depression worse. I don’t know about you, but sleep deprivation significantly impairs my ability to cope with stress. It’s worth the effort to get more z’s. 2. Get off your butt! - Research has shown that physical time or exercise is just as powerful as anti-depressants. Those who know me or have read my blog know that running is a very important outlet for me. I am thankful that I grew up in an active family, making it easier for exercise to be part of my routine as an adult. Beta endorphins are a powerful thing, folks! And it makes it easier to justify eating that double bacon cheeseburger. 3. Focus time - This is exactly what it sounds like. Time spent focusing on a certain task. This is what we do in our profession. Most veterinarians shouldn’t have a problem with this step. 4. Down time - Before attending a talk about down time and steps to keep a healthy mind at a convention, I was under the impression that down time was chilling out, watching TV, or messing around on the Internet. Boy, was I wrong. Apparently down time is doing absolutely nothing. My response to this was, “You mean like meditating? We’re Americans! We don’t do NOTHING!” But this is even different from meditation as meditation is more organized. Apparently you just sit, zone out, and allow your thoughts to wander. Not sure I’ve ever actually done this, except maybe in class, but if someone figures this one out, let me know. 5. Time In - This is taking time for reflection. A wise person once said that if you can name it, you can tame it. This sort of reflection is probably deeper than most of my reflecting, which usually goes something like this: “Gee, I shouldn’t have eaten that Taco Bell,” or “Maybe next time I shouldn’t try to run six miles right after eating a Chipotle burrito.” Apparently a lot of my reflecting involves bad food decisions. I’ll work on delving a little deeper into my psyche with this one. 6. Play time - We love to watch animals and kids play, but we often forget about the importance of this as adults. Adults need recess, too! Dr. Stuart Brown, who is head of a non-profit called the National Institute for Play, once said in an NPR article that, “Play is something done for its own sake…It’s voluntary, it’s pleasurable, it offers a sense of engagement, it takes you out of time. And the act itself is more important than the outcome.” This may enhance the importance of family game nights. Maybe I can use this to convince my husband to take me to theme parks more often. I do love me some roller coasters. 7. Practice Mindfulness - This word is thrown around a lot and may make your eyes glaze over, but in my increased efforts to practice mindfulness, I have certainly found more peace in my life. Mindfulness is simply living in the present without judgement. The without judgement part is the hard one for me. Most people live in the past and future. 8. Eat well! - Your physical health can certainly affect how your brain works. It plays an important role in your emotional health. Personally, I have a hard time with this one, but since my body is the home of our baby right now, I’ve been making efforts to eat salads, more vegetables, and other gross things like that. The more of this healthy stuff I eat, the more I get used to it. It’s still no match for a bacon cheeseburger, but I’ve learned that the occasional piece of broccoli won’t kill me. But does it count if I smother it in cheese sauce? All of these behaviors help change our neural pathways and can help reverse the cycle of depression, burnout, or general unhappiness. I’m certainly not perfect and could do a lot of things to improve my mind and emotional well-being. But knowledge is, in fact, power. It may not seem like it, but happiness is a choice that we make. Some of us may struggle more due to genetics or past experiences, but it is my firm belief that everyone can achieve it. I hope this blog post can help further the discussion of mental health in our profession, particularly for young graduates. If any of my fellow veterinarians are experiencing depression, burnout, or even suicidal thoughts, please PLEASE seek help. Know that you are not alone. Many other veterinarians have experienced what you’re feeling and are more than happy to help. Also, please seek professional help if needed. We all may be perfectionists and may find it difficult to admit when we’re struggling with mental illness, but it could save your life. The world is a better place with you in it, especially if you can find a pathway to happiness and productivity. In my last blog post, I introduced depression and burnout in new graduates with some background on compassion fatigue, and I explained some reasons for the problem, such as the James Herriot Syndrome and generational differences. To get caught up, follow this link: leasheslariatsandlipstick.weebly.com/blog/depression-and-burnout-in-new-graduates-part-1 I’ll continue with that topic, part two in a three part series, with isolation, financial burdens, and the changing gender makeup of veterinary medicine. Hopefully you found last week’s post helpful and tried some of the tips posted, whether you’re a new grad, a long time practicing vet, or just someone that needs help separating their life from their job. Like I said in my last post, if you’re feeling burnout, just try one thing at a time. You’ll be amazed how much can change just by shaking it up a little. Isolation The transition from veterinary student to veterinarian can be an exciting but also challenging time. Most students transition from hanging out with their classmates and best friends at veterinary school every day to likely living in a new town with no friends, far away from any of their classmates. Being a brand new graduate can be isolating. Couple that with a 60-hour work week, and it can be hard to stay in touch with your fellow classmates or “battle buddies” as a friend put it. As a new graduate, I eventually got used to this feeling of isolation. I seemed to forget that my fellow classmates and best friends were still there for me even though they were practicing from a far distance. I would find myself fretting about a certain case or situation for weeks. When our crazy work schedules would finally allow me and some of my nearby classmates to have a get-together, we found ourselves talking about veterinary medicine constantly. It was like therapy. After talking to them about a difficult case or situation at work, I would often find that they experienced the exact same thing, and they often even had advice for me. I found myself wishing I would have talked to them weeks ago and kept in touch better. For new graduates, I can’t stress enough the importance of keeping in touch with your close classmates. They are the only ones that understand the transition. I know I said in the last post to put away the smartphone, but maybe a quick chat with a veterinary friend might just lift your spirits. While you’re at it, schedule a night out with your friends. Who cares if it’s a long distance? What else are you going to do in your 48 hours off. Technically, your house doesn’t have to be clean. It will be like therapy to spend time away and be able to vent. At first you might hesitate to even tell your friends if you’re having a rough time, but once you do, you’ll likely realize that everyone feels the same. There’s a lot of comfort in that. Financial Burdens A unique challenge that my generation faces is our ever increasing debt-to-income ratio. The average debt of my class at the University of Missouri, a relatively inexpensive school compared to other veterinary schools, was $145,000. In a 2012 survey done by the American Veterinary Medical Association, the average starting salary of a veterinarian was $65,000. That may seem like a pretty healthy wage to most, but if you factor in debt load, many new graduates are surprisingly broke. The high debt load of new graduates could not only contribute to added stress, but also prevent us from achieving things we want, like a first home purchase or even vacations, which help a lot with stress relief. At some point, I will likely devote an entire blog post to this topic as there’s too much to cover here. It’s hard to find a practical solution to this problem or even decide whose responsibility it is to solve this problem. Should veterinary students be more wise about their spending before and during veterinary school and make more of an effort to keep debt low? Should veterinary schools find ways to reduce costs? That’s tricky with less and less state funding. Should states start funding such programs more to cover costs? Should the veterinary national and state organizations get involved? All of these things require extensive discussion, which is too involved to cover in this blog post. But don’t worry, I’ll return to this subject in the future. To relieve stress on this point is hard because like most people, you’re not going to feel better about it until it’s gone. I can only tell you what you’ve heard before, consolidate your loans, research your loans so you know as much as you can, and if you have to, pick an income based repayment plan, but only if you can’t survive any other way. Interest still accrues, that sadly doesn’t change. Need to save money? Take a vacation at a state park, head to a garage sale, and eat eggs, eggs are very cheap. By the way, Aldi’s also has $2 wine and a bunch of other deals, but don’t forget to bring your quarter! When dealing with financial burden, take a deep breath, and remember that you’re not alone. Haven’t you heard the news? Most of us are in the same boat. This might also be an opportunity for you to share your story with veterinary students, state and national organizations, or even your local politicians. This system will have to be changed, and it might make you feel proactive to get involved. Changing Gender Makeup
As I’ve mentioned in previous blogs, the face of the veterinary profession is changing. My graduating vet school class in 2012 was roughly 85% female, which seems to be pretty consistent in most veterinary schools. Women face a number of unique challenges in the profession that could contribute to the changing stats on depression and burnout. A colleague of mine noted, “It’s been frustrating to me to feel like my career has prevented me from other life goals like starting a family.” As a young female professional, I can certainly sympathize. After graduating veterinary school, I knew practice ownership was in the cards for me. I made the decision to prioritize my career for a few years before starting a family. I wanted to be taken seriously at work, by both my clients and my co-workers. I didn’t want to be known as the mom at work that also happened to be a veterinarian. Almost four years after graduating veterinary school when my husband and I decided to try to start a family, I still questioned if it was too soon or if we were jumping the gun. Now, of course, we’re ecstatic about our new family addition that is coming in November. I don’t regret my decision to wait to have kids, but I do think it’s sad that women in my profession (myself included) lay awake at night wondering how their family planning is going to affect them professionally. Starting a family is a beautiful thing, and you shouldn’t have to feel guilty or worried about your career at that time. Studies have shown that having a family can also put more strain on young female professionals. Women who work full-time, on average, do 60% of the house chores and 80% of the childcare. Taking on so much responsibility in the home can be stressful for someone who is already working long hours. Add the guilt of working long hours and spending “too much time” away from your children, and it’s no wonder that mothers may feel overstretched and even depressed. If practice owners are wondering why women seem to demand more time off or a work/life balance, the likely reason is they have to for survival. My advice to all women, especially those that want to be working mothers, is to choose a partner that values equality, both in the world and the home. I thank my lucky stars that I married a man that can cook. The cleaning? We still need a little training on that part, but I’m working on it. However, I can’t stress enough the importance of having a partner that plays an active role in the home and child rearing. If you don’t have a partner that values equality, and you are expected to do most of the chores and child rearing, then you need to voice your concerns. It may be that you haven’t asked for help, and they may be oblivious to the fact that you're struggling because you hide it so well or that’s how they were raised. If they still don’t want to put more effort in, then you’ve got a bigger problem than a stressful work situation, and only you can fix that one. It’s far too much of a burden for one person to bear. For all the single mothers out there, including my own mother, I raise my glass to you. I don’t know how you do what you do. Other challenges women sometimes face in our profession is sexual harassment, clients taking them less seriously than their male colleagues, lower wages (yes, the AVMA found on average that new female graduates make about $3,000 less for their starting salary), and less opportunities for advancement. It’s the 21st century and we’ve made a lot of progress, but the fact remains that many leaders in our profession are completely out of touch with the challenges many of us face. For those of us interested in leadership, it can make you feel like you’re banging your head against a wall. A female colleague of mine describes a time at a leadership convention: She said, “I could not get the white haired men in blue blazers to listen. I told them it was okay, we would celebrate progress one retirement at a time.” There is a lot of truth to that. There will come a time when more and more women reach the point in their careers where they’re established enough to take on upper levels of leadership in organized veterinary medicine. The older generation of veterinarians, typically our leaders of the profession, is still predominantly male, which is why, in my opinion, women remain underrepresented and misunderstood at the leadership level. There’s no doubt in my mind this will change with time. But again, progress is often slow and painful, especially in our profession. Leadership roles are stressful but also empowering. If you feel like the lack of representation is causing some of your burnout with the profession, then get more involved. I know, your schedule is insane, but making some changes at the top of our profession will help all the little minions at the bottom. I have found my own involvement in organized veterinary medicine to be quite empowering and rewarding. Not to mention, it’s an opportunity to discuss issues with other newer graduates involved, which helps with the feeling of isolation we mentioned earlier. Many of you may also be surprised how little of a time commitment it takes. A great place to start is to get involved with your regional or state veterinary medical association. Become an officer in your regional VMA or find a committee that interests you at the state level. Changes and progress in the system require participation. To sum it up so you can try one thing at a time, these are some strategies that may help you out: 1.) Schedule a night out or a phone call with friends. All work, no play, makes you a boring vet. You need to relieve stress and bounce ideas off of your school friends that may be in the same position as you. 2.) Research your student loans to make sure you’re getting the best deal possible. And take a deep breath. 3.) Try to make changes to your work life that fit you. Change is not a bad thing! 4.) Try out a leadership role to make change in your field. You’ll feel empowered and you’ll be a part of making necessary changes. Take something from today’s post, something small, and try to make a change for the positive. Call a friend right now and set up a dinner date. Ask your spouse with a little help with dinner and the dishes. Go buy some eggs! The next blog post will wrap up my discussion of depression and burnout with mistakes, high standards, and neuroplasticity. Many of you not in the veterinary profession may not be aware, but there has been an ongoing discussion about mental health, compassion fatigue, and depression in the veterinary profession. Compassion fatigue has long been an epidemic in our profession, but every time a prominent veterinarian commits suicide, the discussion resurfaces over and over again. What many don’t realize or fail to acknowledge is that new or recent graduates are far more prone or at risk of compassion fatigue, depression, burnout, and suicidal thoughts. The cause of this is largely unknown and likely multifactorial, but after an in-depth discussion with my colleagues and people who are far more insightful than I on the subject, I will be discussing some possible causes and solutions to this growing problem in veterinary medicine. I don’t want to leave anything out that may help someone, so I will divide this topic into a few blogs in the hopes that my readers can take away bits, one blog at a time, and hopefully work on any problem they see in themselves. I want this to be a helpful tool. In this post, I will give some background and go over a couple of problems that veterinarians face. I’m not a psychologist and this problem is WAY above my pay grade, but my hope is this may raise a bit more awareness and possibly spark more discussion. What is compassion fatigue and burnout? This is a condition that is relatively common in many of the medical professions. Compassion fatigue is a result of caring very much and working very hard, but not recognizing your own needs. In many ways, the veterinary profession is the perfect breeding ground for this condition. Our job entails a fair amount of moral stress. Many professionals may find themselves in situations where they are quite aware of the ethical principles at stake, but external factors prevent them from making a decision that would reduce the conflict. This could be anything from a client that can’t or refuses to pay for care for their pet, apathy of leadership in the workplace, or simply feeling like you don’t have the skills or resources to cope with stressors in the workplace. It’s important to know that while burnout and compassion fatigue can produce similar symptoms, they are quite different. People who are “burned out” lose the ability to empathize. People with compassion fatigue want to help and empathize with the clients they serve, but they’re overwhelmed by their feelings to do so. We’re going to discuss some of the external factors that may prevent new or recent graduates from coping, solving problems, and reducing conflict in the workplace, leading to compassion fatigue, depression, and burnout. The James Herriot Syndrome While attending a talk on compassion fatigue at a leadership convention, a psychiatrist described a syndrome in new graduates as The James Herriot Syndrome. Most young people knew from a very young age they wanted to be a veterinarian. Many of my friends started shadowing a vet as young as the age of twelve. We also grew up idolizing veterinarians. Many may have grown up reading the infamous book series written by James Herriot. We viewed veterinarians as superheroes and pillars of the community. Many of us have a strong passion for the profession and did whatever it took to become a veterinarian. Once we obtained this momentous and challenging goal, we believed we would go out and save every animal we could. We would save the world! Graduating veterinary school was/is a huge accomplishment that puts you on cloud nine. Shortly after entering veterinary practice, the stressors and overwhelming aspects of the job can pull you back down to reality. You might not know as much as you thought. You might not feel prepared for the fast pace and long hours of private practice. Sure, you’re helping pets, but are you helping pets to the extent that you would like? Are you saving the world? Probably not. It can easily make you feel like you’re falling from grace. Without a strong support network and good coping skills, it can be easy to slip into feelings of helplessness or even depression. What helped me with this more than anything was having hobbies outside of the profession. When your whole life is being a veterinarian, it can make those rough weeks at work much harder. Taking time away to do other things can make you feel more like a whole person. Vet med can't come close to fulfilling every need in your life. As a profession, we also need to stop holding ourselves to such ridiculous expectations and standards. As Dr. Dean Scott pointed out in his article on the subject, we’re not superheroes. We’re veterinarians and human beings doing a job. Veterinary medicine is certainly a calling, a passion, and an important career, but it’s also a job that comes with its own stresses and disadvantages. Maybe romanticizing the life of a veterinarian can help us cope with the hard work and challenges we face in veterinary school, but it can make the realities of real world veterinary practice difficult to swallow. Generational Component? In discussing the challenges of depression and burnout in new graduates with my colleagues, many of us (mostly Millennials ourselves) had to wonder if there was a generational component. Is it possible that Baby Boomers (our parents) failed to teach or allow learning of coping skills? While I’m no expert on generational studies, I have heard many experts speak on this topic. Boomers learned the skill of outworking the competition at an early age because there were more people in the workforce. They had to fight tooth and nail to become successful. When Boomers became parents, they adopted a parenting philosophy of wanting to make the lives of their children easier than it was for them. For the most part, that parenting philosophy has come back to haunt them and all of us, really. As a generation of parents, were Boomers too eager to fix things and therefore disabled this generation from developing adult skills and emotional IQ? I’m not saying this is true for everyone, but it could be a possibility. I am also not blaming Boomers for our problems. If we are, as a generation, lacking coping skills, we have many other benefits that our parents never had, so don’t head home for a visit and start blaming them for all your problems at work. They might smash your smartphone, hand you a map, and tell you to find the nearest emergency room for what Red Forman liked to call a foot in the a$@. Baby Boomers did what every generation does, learns from their upbringing and reacts. Having the opportunity to make mistakes, experience failures, deal with stress, solve problems, and face bullies are all skills that are (should) be ingrained in early childhood. Those experiences are part of making a functional adult. Many in the Millennial generation were protected from those experiences to make our lives easier, so it’s no surprise that the newer generation of veterinarians may not have the skills or resources to cope with a high-stress, fast-paced job. The question is: Is it too late for our generation to learn these skills? My initial gut response to that question was sadly yes. However, the more I think about it and research, there is, in fact, hope for our youngest generation of veterinarians. It requires work, diligence, and motivation in each individual. Younger veterinarians may require more mentorship in the workplace. Some practice owners are willing to pick up this “burden” of teaching these young professionals these vital skills, and some are not. Some might argue why is it their responsibility to mentor young practitioners and teach them skills that their parents and instructors have failed to teach. That’s a fair enough assessment, but if we want our young veterinarians to be more functional in the workplace and cope with the challenges that arrive there, mentorship is vital. Another question many of us have is the constant inflow of information from social media preventing us from unplugging and relaxing in a healthy way? Many in my generation are also big fans of Netflix, Hulu, or other streaming websites. I like to refer to these streaming websites as the crack of television. It has been found that when someone spends long periods of time on social media or binge-watching shows, it can be a trigger or root of unhealthy emotions. Spending long periods of time on the Internet can start a negative cycle, taking time away from activities that may improve emotional health like exercising, spending time with friends and family, or engaging in other activities and hobbies that provide pleasure. Look, I get it. I myself spend WAY too much time on Facebook. We also just finished the newest season of Orange Is The New Black, and now I don’t know what to do with my life. That’s a bit of an over-exaggeration as running a business, getting ready for a baby, and preparing to build a house is more than enough to keep me busy, but there is something to be said for the general feeling of emptiness when you finish binge watching a show. The older I get, the more I recognize the value of unplugging and dealing with stress in a healthy way. I hate to say it, but TV and wine can’t solve ALL of your problems. Lastly, another generational component that could be contributing to more depression and burnout in new graduates is different standards of quality of life. Many older veterinarians accepted a 60+ hour work week and expected to see emergencies on nights and weekends. New veterinarians expect to have more of a work/life balance. Many veterinarians in the younger generation find their identities outside the workplace, which is a stark difference from the older generation. A colleague of mine puts it this way, “I love being a veterinarian, but it’s not who I am.” Coming from someone who regularly puts in 60+ hour work weeks, I know from experience that our need for balance in our life doesn’t always match up with the demands of our jobs. Being a practice owner now, I’m working harder to incorporate the “work smart, not hard” philosophy into my practice. Doing so in a practice where previous veterinarians devoted their entire lives to the profession and never demanded or wanted as much balance in their lives can be quite challenging. Our generation is having to change the attitudes and the face of the profession. Progress in our profession, like with anything, can be slow which is very frustrating. Change is hard for your clients and maybe even your staff to accept, but practice owners have to continue to fight for quality of life for themselves and their staff. They are responsible for creating a culture for growth and healthy lifestyles. Some traditions are honorable and exist for a reason. However, you might also come to certain realizations after looking at a practice through fresh eyes. The other thing about tradition is this: Just because you’ve always done it that way, doesn’t mean it’s not incredibly stupid, such as Presidential pardons for a turkey or the running of the bulls. Furthermore, policies and business structure that were set up 50 years ago might not fit so well with today’s business demands. There’s nothing wrong with trying new things and mixing things up, especially when the only reason NOT to change something is, “we’ve always done it this way.” Overcoming a generational gap is challenging, but here are a few tips to sum up what you can do to help yourself if you feel you fall into this category: 1.) Ask for help. You might need a cheerleader, a mentor, a sounding board, or just someone to tell you to suck it up, but you may not get that enforcement unless you ask. 2.) Unplug, especially if you’re not feeling that great about work. Binging on television or social media or anything really is not going to help. 3.) Make a change. It may be small, but try something. Just like with the lottery, you can’t win unless you buy a ticket. 4.) Do something for yourself! Run, read, cook, craft, play the piano, train to be the next American Ninja Warrior, anything, but make sure it has nothing to do with your work. Try to make this completely separate to get back some focus. Next week I’ll talk about the isolation, financial burden, and changing gender makeup of veterinary medicine. Hopefully you can take something away to either help yourself or a colleague. He's either training for American Ninja Warrior or he's dancing. I can't tell, but either way, he looks cool!
It’s the holidays again, a wonderful 4th of July, and not only that, storms are heading right toward mid-Missouri in the next few days, so your pets, especially those that dislike loud noises, are going to spend the next few days a little on edge. It’s the time of year when noise phobias become apparent, especially during thunderstorms and fireworks. It is more common in dogs, although a few cats might have it, but more than likely, a cat will just bolt and you’ll spend hours looking for it. Dogs do a number of distressing things: howling, urinating, and defecating are just a few. Research is not 100% complete in this area, but it seems to conclude that it’s even more common in certain breeds of dogs, like Collies and German Shepherds. If you think you’ve seen quite a few dogs that seem sensitive to fireworks of one breed, you’re probably correct to assume and prepare if you have the same breed. Since it’s too late to train your dog to be desensitized to the loud noises of fireworks at this point, I’ll give you some tips to help your dog through this holiday. Happy 4th of July! 1.) Take them to a room without any windows, even better, in the center of your home or in the basement, which will muffle some loud noises and block any flashes of light through windows. 2.) If they already take an anxiety medication, go ahead and pre-medicate them before the fireworks or storm so they are not caught unaware. 3.) Purchase a Thunder Shirt. They apply gentle, constant pressure that will soothe your dog. It won’t cure a severely affected dog, but it helps. 4.) If your pet has been pretty active during the day, they may be too tired to act out as much during fireworks or a storm, so take a walk and let them out to play earlier in the day to wear them out. 5.) Create white noise to block out storms by turning on a fan, air conditioner, the radio or the television. 6.) Don’t fret over them excessively when they are reacting to loud noises. I know, right. That seems mean. You just want to pick up your pup and snuggle him through the scary noises. They will see this as a sign that something is wrong. Pet them, and use a calm, gentle voice to settle them, but go about your business like it’s completely normal. 7.) Keep yourself calm. They can read your behavior. If you’re scared of storms (or fireworks) your dog will read this from your body language. If you also get tense in these situations, medicate yourself with a glass of wine. Have a great 4th of July! You may have a dog that is not afraid of fireworks whatsoever. Look up “Roman Candle Dog” on Youtube for an example of this bad behavior. If so, lock that dog up for the safety of all. Did you see the larger dog toward the end of the video? He had a noise phobia after that, for sure. (I would link it and make it easier for you to find, but legally, I can’t.) Stay safe, keep your pets safe, and no matter how many times they beg, do not let your dogs have any of the table scraps. If they’re begging you for some, then they are begging everyone else at the barbeque, and you can bet 50% of them are suckers that have already handed over part of their hot dog. Your kid that never finished his meal without a fight ate all his food in five minutes?! No way! Yeah, really, no way. Happy 4th of July! Enjoy! |
Jessica Stroupe, DVM
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