The Scottish poet Robert Burns once wrote that “The best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry.” I’m guessing there are a lot of farmers feeling that quote this year. No matter how much you plan, how much you invest, how much you prepare for the worst as farmers usually do, sometimes the weather has other plans. Burns, although a great poet, was an unsuccessful farmer. I’m absolutely sure the inspiration behind his quote is because of his experience in farming. In Missouri and many other states, we are experiencing a drought. Don’t be fooled by the recent rains. We are still in a drought. The rains were nice, for those of us that were lucky to be hit by some hit-or-miss showers, but we are far behind where we need to be for good growth production. Basically, it’s too little, too late. Everyday I meet with producers at my clinic and the first thing out of their mouths is something concerning the drought and the effects on their farms and livestock, and I feel for them. They are in a rough situation. Many counties in Missouri, especially the northern counties, are classified as abnormally dry or experiencing moderate drought conditions. Droughts are just a part of life, something a farmer is prepared for, but this is an unusual situation. We’re not just talking about a drought. We’re talking about a drought compounded with problems flying in from every angle. Droughts reduce the amount of forage available for grazing. Simple enough - then producers turn to hay. Sure, that’s simple enough too if we hadn’t had a try fall last year leading to less hay production. Even if a farmer had stored extra hay or has access to hay now, it’s probably in low supply since this spring was unusually cold, causing farmers to feed hay for a longer amount of time while we all waited patiently for spring to arrive. On top of all that, it’s been so warm that ponds are drying up, and compounded with the tariffs looming over agricultural products, there’s a lot of uncertainty putting strain on the ag industry. It’s a perfect storm….without the literal storm that we’d gladly take right about now. Now producers are left with a few options, and none of them are good ones:
Although it’s too late for rain to make a huge difference in any of this now, it would be helpful all the same. Droughts have a major impact on the ag economy, including a veterinary practice, and the impact might last for years. It takes a producer time to build up a herd, and it’s a major investment. Basically, we’re all hoping and praying for some slack for our farmers and producers. At this point, I’m reminded that we have to let go and let God.
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Did I catch your attention? First of all, I want to apologize for the little hiatus I’ve taken from blog writing. It’s been a busy few weeks. A few weeks ago, I travelled to Florida to watch one of my best friends graduate from DO school. On my way home during my layover in the Chicago O’Hare Airport, I made the unwise decision of eating fish tacos. I should have gone for what I really wanted, which was a burger and fries, but I was trying to be healthy, dangit! I later acquired Campylobacter, a nasty GI bug that hit me like a bus, from which I’m just starting to bounce back from. It’s hard to write a blog from the bathroom, so I figured I’d take a little break. Anyway, back to the subject at hand. Yes, the title of this blog was intended to be clickbait, but it turns out there is some truth to it. Veterinary Cardiologists at UC Davis, one of the leading veterinary schools in the country, started to notice a trend. They started to diagnose a condition called Dilated Cardiomyopathy in breeds that were not previously genetically predisposed to the condition, namely Golden Retrievers, Miniature Schnauzers, and French Bulldogs. In normal animals, the heart is a heavily muscled organ with valves and vessels that supply it that pumps blood efficiently. With DCM, the heart walls are thin, and the heart is more like a floppy balloon. DCM is typically seen in large to giant breed dogs like Doberman Pinschers, Boxers, and Irish Wolfhounds where there is thought to be a genetic component. DCM causes the heart to beat more weakly and to enlarge, leading to congestive heart failure (build up of fluid in the lungs or abdomen). The team at UC Davis became suspicious when they started to see DCM in atypical breeds, and from there, they noticed a trend. Most of these animals were on grain free boutique diets, specifically high in legumes. When the diets were changed, many of these dogs improved or their DCM completely resolved. The theory is that these changes are being caused by a deficiency in an amino acid called taurine. Let’s explore what taurine is for just a second and the history of taurine deficiency (not to bore you). Taurine is an amino acid that is found in high concentrations in muscles and the heart. It has many functions, but it aids in normal contractile functions of the muscle. Taurine deficiency was characterized in cats in the late 1980s as a cause of dilated cardiomyopathy. It was discovered that the DCM in cats could be reversed by supplementation of taurine, and now all reputable cat diets contain enough taurine to prevent this deadly disease. In dogs, certain breeds were more prone to DCM as a result of taurine deficiency, including Golden Retrievers and Cocker Spaniels. Studies have shown certain diets can lead to taurine deficiency in dogs, including rice bran, lamb, high fiber diets, and low protein diets. In the early 2000s, there was a significant decrease in dogs developing DCM from taurine deficiency….until now. A consistent finding so far is that dogs on boutique, grain free diets with exotic ingredients are at risk. Look, I get it. You want what is best for your pet, and the marketing from these companies can be VERY CONVINCING. Unfortunately, a lot of pet owners have bought into the grain free myth. I discuss this with my clients all the time. I explain that the incidence of food allergies is VERY UNCOMMON in dogs, so most dogs do not need to be fed grain free diets with exotic ingredients. I point out that dogs are in fact OMNIVORES, not carnivores (another common myth). And like us (also omnivores), grains do not contribute to health problems and are used in pet foods as a great source of proteins, vitamins, and minerals. There is a strong push with the natural pet food market. They tell you grain free is best. They tell you your dog is just like a wolf. They tell you that the ingredient list is EVERYTHING. You want to know the truth? Most of these companies are far better at marketing and making their bags look pretty than formulating diets. Many of them don’t even hire veterinary nutritionists to formulate their diets. It is true that all pet foods on the market meet the AAFCO guidelines. However, simply meeting the AAFCO guidelines is like getting a D to pass the test. Case in point, Old Roy, a very cheap, poor quality dog food, passes the AAFCO guidelines. When clients ask me about what diets are best to feed their pets, there are a few companies I recommend. I recommend feeding Hill’s Science Diet, Purina Pro Plan, Iams, or Royal Canin. I like these companies because they are science-based companies. They do feeding trials and studies to make sure the diets are balanced, palatable, and well-tolerated. They employ veterinary nutritionists and hundreds of scientists. They own their own manufacturing plants. These companies have the resources to advance pet nutrition through research and development. I’m not going to say that any brand of dog food that is not in this list is bad, but I will say that these are the companies I KNOW I can trust. And no, they are not paying me to say that (although, that would be nice). When your dog or cat eats the same food every day, it’s so important for their food to be nutritionally balanced. While our meals might not be completely balanced from meal to meal, our diets are often balanced with time because they are varied. Dogs and cats generally eat the same food every day, so deficiencies can have a ripple effect. While I haven’t observed DCM in patients on grain free diets in my practice, I have observed another troubling medical issue. A surprising number of patients on boutique grain free diets are being diagnosed with bladder stones or crystals. Sometimes this is an incidental finding on results from our wellness plans. Sometimes the dogs actually come in with urinary tract problems. Either way, it is a clear indication that the calcium, magnesium, and/or phosphorus ratios are not correct in these diets. It’s also an indication that these companies are not doing their homework. While bladder stones or crystals (usually) isn’t deadly, it can often require surgery and a special prescription diet that patients have to stay on life-long. I hope this blog post can help open the eyes of some of my well-intentioned clients that just want the best for their pets. But trust me, I want the best for your pets, too. As a veterinarian, nothing is more frustrating than laying out all of the scientific evidence to clients and giving diet recommendations and have them completely disregard my opinion in favor of current nutrition myths and trends. It’s like trying to convince my son that he doesn’t really need to eat the candy he found on the sidewalk. He may want to because it’s bright green and sweet, but he needs to look beyond that to the ants and dirt covering it as well. By the way, he ate it anyway so I know sometimes I’m unable to convince everyone. Nothing is more frustrating than having patients with preventable illnesses or medical conditions. Nothing is more frustrating than my clients being ripped off by expensive diets, diets that don’t do what they advertise by purposely misleading the consumer or not educating them completely. If you are not sure what to feed your pet, the first step is to talk to your veterinarian. In very rare cases, we might put dogs (and even more rarely cats) on hypoallergenic diets with novel proteins and no grains. However, food allergies are very rare, and such a diet change should be done under the guidance of your veterinarian to help you select the best one for your pet. There is also a link below from Tuft’s to a great article that provides questions you should be asking your pet food company: http://vetnutrition.tufts.edu/2016/12/questions-you-should-be-asking-about-your-pets-food/ I have also provided a link below from Tuft’s as to why you shouldn’t judge a diet by the ingredient list: http://vetnutrition.tufts.edu/2016/06/why-you-shouldnt-judge-a-pet-food-by-its-ingredient-list/ Make sure you educate yourself about what you give your pet. I hate to see a pet owner distraught by the fact that they just didn’t know, so again, check with your veterinarian before changing your pet’s diet. It will save you some anxiety after your pet starts to exhibit problems, time trying to schedule appointments and nursing them back to health, and money on more expensive treatment and diets to get them back on track. Recently, I wrote about my procrastination methods while trying to complete my accreditation modules. Yippee, I got it done! Nothing nixes procrastination like a 24 hour deadline. One way I was procrastinating during the process was to research ideas for my blog (aka, scroll on Facebook and surf the web, then accidentally come across something I could write a blog about). While I was “researching” I saw something exciting: June 10th is National Black Cow Day. I can write about that! I know lots about black cows. As a matter of fact, I had just treated a feisty Angus a few minutes before this amazing find. What a coincidence! I thought, “I’ll get my revenge on that little turd and write about how black cows aren’t as fantastic as a national holiday tries to make them out to be.” But as I continued reading about this holiday, I realized that it wasn’t actually about a literal black cow. A Black Cow is another name for a root beer float. Maybe you all knew this and I sound a little silly, but I did not know this at all. Is this a regional thing like soda, pop, or soda pop? Since this was important research, I continued searching for the origins of this tasty treat because this was important! I needed to find the answers before I could possibly work on my accreditation modules. According to the website Pop Sugar, and the author PartySugar, very, very reliable sources, the Black Cow is an American classic, dating back to the late 1800’s. According to PartySugar (I wish my name was PartySugar), the origins of the Black Cow are as follows: “Root beer was manufactured, bottled, and sold starting in 1880, and legend has it that thirteen years later, the root beer float, which is sometimes referred to as a black cow, was first invented. After glancing out the window late one night, Frank Wisner of Cripple Creek, Colorado, was inspired to float a scoop of vanilla ice cream on top of his glass of root beer. The illumination of the full moon allowed him to glimpse the snow on top of nearby Cow Mountain. The tasty treat was tremendously popular among the town's children, who then called it a "black cow."” I had to know more. Honestly, it was making me hungry, and you just can’t complete an accreditation module on an empty stomach, so I continued on to the source where every serious intellect goes for information: Wikipedia. Wikipedia further blew my mind because it then listed multiple other black cows, but not an Angus. It included the root beer float and a song by Steely Dan, which I then listened to on Youtube. This is research people, and it must be done! Man, there were some bitter people in the comments section that loved this song but hated their exes. Wikipedia also mentioned that it was a name for a chocolate candy and an alcoholic drink, which piqued my interest. It is made with Kahlua, half-and-half, and Coca-Cola, which are all three on my grocery list now. Spike Lee once said, “You have to do the research. If you don't know about something, then you ask the right people who do.” Wikipedia knew exactly what I was looking for. Not answers to anything important but a recipe for a happy hour drink. It’s National Black Cow Day, so celebrate, by having a root beer float, an alcoholic drink, or some candy, while you’re jamming out to Steely Dan. Since I originally started this research to write about black cows, I’ll list a few things I appreciate about Angus cows: Most Angus cattle today can be traced back to two original ancestors from the 1800s, owned by Hugh Watson. They have an unusually strong reputation, with their beef being considered superior. The Angus Association has done an excellent job at marketing their cattle and their beef. Is Angus beef actually superior to beef from other breeds of cattle? Not necessarily. To really know how good your steak is going to taste, you should focus on beef quality grades of that meat. However, a lot of my producers are Angus breeders, so the fact that fast food chains see “100 percent Angus” as an advantage is a benefit to my producers and clients. Angus dams are known to have excellent mothering abilities. In regions where predators may attack or dangerous situations may arise, this is an asset. I don’t really consider it an asset when those protective dams chase me out of the field, but that’s besides the point. Angus cows have high fertility rates, with calving (usually) being a smooth process. Angus cattle have a reputation for finishing sooner compared to cattle of the same build, which is great for producers that want to produce beef over a short, intense period of time. Angus cattle and Angus crosses thrive on forage-based production systems. Their carcasses often have a good ratio of lean meat against waste. The meat often has good marbling making for tender steaks. They don’t have horns unless they’re crossed with a horned breed, and I hate dehorning. One thing I’ve observed about Angus cows is that they are notorious for getting on their “knees” on their front legs during preg checking. This is pretty annoying, actually. But I can appreciate their religious dedication. Since it is a black cow holiday, however you decide to interpret it, it’s also Sunday, and I’m on call, so please don’t bother your black Angus with fun selfies that might increase anxiety and stress, causing a difficult calving because calving season has already stretched out too long, and I’m up to my shoulders in dystocia calls. Just in case that selfie is too tempting, I’ll stick to root beer floats to be ready for your call. Happy National Black Cow Day! Every three years, accredited veterinarians get that dreaded e-mail from the USDA saying that their accreditation will be up in a few months and here’s a link on the USDA website to complete the required modules. For those of you not familiar, veterinarians must be accredited in order to write health certificates, perform TB testing, or other official tests or duties usually required for animal importation, exportation, or herd certifications. Because I work with small and large animals, I am a category 2 accredited veterinarian. When you are accredited for large and small animals, you have to do extra modules. Six to be exact, and each module lasts about one hour! I know what you’re thinking. Six hours of work once every three years isn’t that bad, but if you had ever read the material in these modules, you may think differently. It’s not exactly Gillian Flynn and Gone Girl type of material. It’s horrific in a whole different way, like a mental anguish sort of way. Like many veterinarians, my first response to these e-mails is denial. “I have plenty of time!” I think as I star the e-mail for future reference. Once June 1st (that deadline) comes closer and closer, I choose procrastination. Dr. Ferrari, a psychologist and organizer of the Procrastination Conference (yes, that actually exists) defines procrastination of “the purposive and frequent delay in beginning or completing a task to the point of experience objective discomfort, such as anxiety or regret.” While most of us procrastinate, only about 20% are true procrastinators. Studies have also shown that highly intelligent people procrastinate a lot. That’s it! I’m a genius! Even though I may not be a true procrastinator, my procrastination skills can be expert level when I have a task I TRULY do not want to complete. The following are all the things I did in my efforts to procrastinate completing my modules: 1. Random mundane cleaning tasks- I’m probably not alone, when faced with a task I really don’t want to do, I immediately think of all of those cleaning tasks that I would normally do like once a year, maybe twice a year if I’m highly motivated. My procrastination usually begins with dusting, like dusting blinds, baseboards, dryer vents, air conditioning vents, the crown molding of the cabinets, and all the window frames (my house has a lot of windows). I hate dusting, but I hate accreditation modules more. Other random cleaning tasks include organizing cabinets under the sink, organizing spices, scrubbing the trash cans, cleaning out the refrigerator, or polishing silver or copper cookware. 2. Cleaning/organizing your office- Okay, if any of you have seen my office, you’ll see that it’s not terrible, but it’s not pristine. I’m planning on doing this the next time I have a task I want to avoid. Clearing my desk, dusting the desk and keyboard, taking files out of my file cabinet from three years ago that I no longer need, alphabetizing the files in the file cabinet, and updating the family photos on my shelf that are six years old. 3. Blogging! My blog has been great in a lot of ways. Not only has it provided a creative outlet for me, but it is a form of procrastination. In fact, while I have finally completed my modules, I am currently procrastinating filling out the official form for accreditation renewal… and it's May 30th. 4. Bathing the dog- My dog is a Great Pyrenees. She’s 90 pounds with LOTS of hair. Bathing my furry beast is a process, and one method of avoiding my modules. 5. Learning a new song on the ukulele- This is my latest hobby. I picked up the ukulele not long ago so I could sing and play children's songs for my son, and then hopefully teach him how to play. I used to be musical and even be in a band, but veterinary school pretty much beat all of the artistry and creativity out of me. Now at six years out, I'm learning to use the right side of my brain again. While I mostly learn children's songs, I learned a Meghan Trainor song for my own enjoyment a few weeks ago, and I'm currently working on Cups by Anna Kendrick. It's a fun distraction. Far more fun than dusting blinds, I must say. 6. Toddler distractions- Most moms would say that having a toddler or children in and of itself comes with a lot of fun, but also a lot of responsibility. Even though I try to complete necessary tasks during my son's naps, spending time with my son during what little free time I have is a priority. Momming isn't necessarily a distraction, it's a way of life. When you're a mom, sometimes that means you do mundane tasks like accreditation modules and renewal forms during naps on the weekends or late at night after everyone goes to sleep. While I try to get everything I need to get done, sometimes I choose instead to play outside with the little one, read to him, play songs on the ukulele, eat/cook dinner with my family, and much more. Sometimes that means I'm fighting hard to meet deadlines, but I wouldn't change it for the world. 7. Facebooking - I just caught myself scrolling uncontrollably for what seemed like 30 seconds as I looked away from my task, but it turned out to be 10 minutes. I even repeated in my head multiple times, “Look away, look away,” but then I’d quickly forget any self-discipline as soon as I saw a funny baby video or an inappropriate meme. 8. Making a long to-do list that lists “finish modules” - I put it first thing so I’d do it first, but then I do everything else instead. 9. Rereading the directions and the parts of the module I’ve already completed - Don’t ask me why? I just can’t help myself. Instead of barreling through, I just keep going back and looking at all the other stuff, like I might find something in there like those trick math tests from junior high that say in tiny print, “You can stop here. You’ve read all the directions. Now let all the stupid people finish the whole thing.” 10. Just stare off into space - You know you do it too! It’s like I suddenly begin meditating as the computer is loaded and the questions are right in front of my face. I immediately look away and either draw a complete blank or imagine a white sandy beach that I would much rather be on right now. So I have two more days to complete this. Six hours have only added up to about 16 hours if you include all this procrastination. I decided about 1.5 modules and 1.5 Angry Orchards into the process, that I would simply click through the modules and skim. I found that the questions were surprisingly easy to answer even when you don’t really read the material that thoroughly. Perhaps it’s because I remember it from three years ago, which is kind of miracle. Or maybe I know just enough from being accredited for the past six years. Now that I have completed my modules, I have to muster up just enough motivation to complete my renewal application. Sorry, Dr. Potter. You may have to write all of the health certificates for the first week or so of June due to my procrastination. What I should have been doing during these breaks in my module sessions was scheduling an appointment for an adult ADHD diagnosis, but I’m sure the doctor will probably assure me that it’s just a lack of motivation and my friends will remind me that it’s also a big portion of mommy brain. I’ll get it done though, and maybe I’ll come out of this with a spotless house where I’m the only one who knows where anything is anymore. If you’ve read the two previous blog posts, I’ve been focusing a lot on the subject of balancing home life and work life. You may be even a little tired of me talking about it. However, there is one talking point I gave in my presentation that I neglected to include in my last two blog posts on the subject. I mentioned in my first post about the metaphor comparing work-life balance to balancing on a train track. It’s always a struggle, and you are constantly at risk of falling too far to one side or the other. As I also mentioned, the thing I don’t like about this metaphor is you are always struggling, and you are constantly feeling guilty or disappointing someone. Again, I’m an optimist, and I like to think that you can truly find satisfaction in both work life and home life. Unsatisfied with that definition, I scoured the internet for other theories of what work-life balance truly means. The definition that made the most sense to me came from this resource:
https://worklifebalance.com/work-life-balance-defined/ In the article, the author, Jim Bird, explains that there are two critical components of work-life balance: Achievement and Enjoyment Achievement and enjoyment are like two sides of a coin. Without both, you’re living a one-sided life. The definition of work-life balance described in the article is as follows: Meaningful daily Achievement and Enjoyment in each of my four life quadrants: Work, Family, Friends and Self. This made so much sense to me. Why didn’t I think of this myself?! It made sense because at times when I am most contented and satisfied with my life, I am better balanced with both components. It made sense because so many highly successful people in my life are extremely unhappy. On the other side of the coin, it can also explain the quote “Idle hands are the devil’s playground.” Without both components, you don’t get the full value out of life and may act out in ways that show your unhappiness, your anger with your situation, or even your indifference toward your family and colleagues. In reading this article as a veterinarian, I can’t help but think about the countless articles about compassion fatigue, depression, and high suicide rates that plague my profession. I think most of us are comfortable with the definition of achievement, but we neglect enjoyment. Robert Louis Stevenson in An Apology for Idlers put it well in saying, “There is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy.” Part of why this definition made so much sense to me is the daily focus of those two components. Too many times, we can get caught in the “as soon as” trap. We all do it. “I’ll go on vacation or make that big trip as soon as I get that raise.” “I’ll start taking more time off work as soon as I hire that new associate.” “I’ll be happy as soon as I make XXX amount of dollars.” I think too many of us think that enjoyment or happiness follows achievement, but in my opinion, it’s the opposite. It’s okay to continue to have work goals, but focus on things that make you happy, whether it’s taking time to exercise, hobbies, or spending time with family. Is it possible that enjoyment and happiness lead to success? When we focus on both achievement and enjoyment daily, can we become happier and more productive individuals, and can that success at home translate over to work, leading to even more achievement and success? It can. Since researching for this talk, I have tried to focus on living out this definition. It’s difficult at first, but you get the hang of it after awhile. I’m always thinking about what I can achieve at work, but what about enjoying something at work? As the owner of my practice, what can I do to help my employees achieve and enjoy their work? When I walk in the door after work, I try to think about what I can achieve and enjoy with my family for the evening. It can be the simplest of things, like playing with my son and staying in the present, and not thinking about that patient at the hospital that I need to check on later (enjoyment). Or it could be trimming my son’s finger and toe nails (Achievement. Believe me, that’s an achievement). When was the last time you enjoyed something for just yourself? Whether it’s taking an hour out of the day to exercise, reading a book, getting a massage, going shopping, etc. So my request or plea to other veterinarians, mothers, or just my fellow humans is this. Know that enjoyment is not just “haha happiness.” It’s love, satisfaction, security, celebration, pride, and a sense of well being. Do what you have to do to cultivate that area of your life. Don’t get caught in the “as soon as” trap. Success, whether it be financial or career success, doesn’t automatically equate to happiness. Financial or career success doesn’t mean anything if you’ve let your family life, health, and personal well-being crumble to reach it. Work hard. Play hard. And begin each day by saying, “I want to achieve something today, and I want to enjoy something today.” It’s not as simple as it sounds, but it gets easier with time. Like I’ve said from the beginning, practice, practice, practice. Our road is a continual learning process so take the time to learn this to make the path a little easier and more satisfying to navigate. Well, I survived it. I presented to the Boonslick Women’s Business Network with my take on achieving some sort of Work-Life Balance, and I have to admit, it’s been interesting analyzing myself while writing about this topic and hearing what everyone else has to say. As I said in the last post, and multiple times during the presentation, it’s a process. It takes practice for some people, especially when you have that nagging inner voice that’s saying, you really need to finish up that project at work while you’re playing with your child or that inner voice screaming at you as you leave early for work to finish that project and don’t get to wake your child up for a kiss and hug goodbye. Here are some more tips that might help you achieve a little peace of mind that I didn’t mention in the last post: Health and Wellness This has been a personal challenge for me, but I know I share this with many moms. Sometimes you feel like you’re barely holding it together between work and home responsibilities. Now I’m supposed to take time to be healthy for my own wellbeing? Psh! Before my son was born, I was an avid runner, running at least six miles most days. I competed in half marathons and marathons, even running the Boston Marathon. When I competed, I trained hard. Sometimes running 65 miles per week even during 60 hour work weeks. I would do tempo runs and track workouts. Life on the fitness side since having my son is a little different. I don’t generally have time to run twice a day or devote hours of my time after work to exercising. I wouldn’t see my son at all if I did. Lately with the busy work schedule, I have been talking myself out of exercising in the evenings. I just can’t bare to sacrifice what little time I have with my son. However, exercising is important for my mental and physical health, and I feel like a better mother when I take time for it. I’ve found a few ways to make it easier to work out with a young one. When the weather is nice, I make my son part of it by taking him out in the jogging stroller. I may not be able to run for as long, but I feel like pushing that jogging stroller makes up for some of that. I also have an app on my phone called “12 Minute Athlete” that has 12-minute and 16-minute HIIT sessions. It costs $2.50 (last I checked), but it’s a one-time fee. For short workouts, you can get a good sweat and cardio session in. Even on the busiest of days, I can find 12 minutes to work out. And I still feel like I’ve accomplished something afterward. If you’re thinking that it’s taking even 12 minutes from your child, have them join you. Turn up the music. Kids love to dance! They are witnessing you doing something healthy, and just maybe they’ll learn to be healthy too. Another thing that has helped me find time to exercise more is Beach Body On Demand. I buy a yearly membership so I can have access to online workout videos. This is particularly handy if I want to squeeze in a workout while my son is napping at our house. Eating better is something that has become a priority for me more recently. I have always been a fitness nut, but I always ate whatever I wanted. I used my activity level as an excuse to eat bad things frequently. I’m also not a big veggie eater, so my diet primarily consisted of meat and carbs. After being diagnosed with cancer and realizing that I don’t have the metabolism of a 15-year-old anymore, I started consulting with a registered dietitian to find ways to eat healthier. I’m in a place where I want to do as much as I can to stay healthy so I can continue to chase my toddler around, run my busy practice, and hopefully stay cancer-free! Sure, I mix in some pizza or Mexican food a few times a week, but again, it’s all about balance. So remember that even though you’re a busy mom, invest in your health. Get off the couch and move, eat a vegetable (or three or four) every once in awhile, and take a little time for yourself doing something you enjoy. Your mind and body will thank you for it. Keeping Up with the Joneses (or the Kardashians?) I don’t feel as though this is something that is challenging for me personally, but I have included it because it can be a struggle for a lot of people. I guess I’m fortunate in that I’ve always had the, “I don’t care what other people think, I’m going to do my thing and do what I want” attitude. For that, I am thankful. Part of it may be that I’m just overly confident. The other may be that I was raised and work in a farming community, where status striving isn’t as important or common. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t mind having extra money for little things I like, like Stitch Fix and a few hours in a nice salon, but money envy has never really been my thing. However, in the era of social media, it gives us the opportunity to show off how wonderful our lives are, or the new house or new car we just bought. Sure, when I first got out of veterinary school and I was pinching pennies living in a small 600-square foot cabin and driving a beater car, I would get a little envious of that fellow veterinary graduate who bought an Escalade or a fancy new house. Try not to compare yourself to others. It’s okay to be competitive, but be competitive against the person you were yesterday. Know that what people post on Facebook are simply the highlights of their life through rose colored glasses. Everyone has struggles that people don’t know about. And those people with fancy cars or the fancy new house? They’re probably just going to be in debt forever. Also, spending time with the right people is important. If you spend a lot of time with people who spend money like there’s no tomorrow and pressure you to spend recklessly, it’s time to re-evaluate your friend choices. Find a group of friends who values economic stability and can practice self control. While I can’t relate to the money envy aspect of this issue, there is one thing I can relate to. I think it’s easy for us to get tied up in the minutia that we feel we should be doing. I felt a pang of guilt a few weeks ago when it was St. Patrick’s Day, and I didn’t have a St. Patrick’s themed shirt for my son to wear. His dad’s side of the family is Irish, so it seemed important. I hurriedly ordered one on Zulily, but I was too cheap to pay for the rush shipping. I knew it probably wouldn’t make it in time, but I could only hope. Maybe it will fit next year? A week or so later, we went to church on Easter Sunday. I was marveling at all of the cute Easter outfits on all of the babies and toddlers, realizing that I didn’t have an Easter outfit, or even any dress clothes in my son’s size. It’s easy to beat yourself up over little things like this, until you realize that it’s only for appearances. Sure, dressing up your kid is fun, but sometimes making sure your kid has the most current wardrobe and holiday appropriate clothing is something that falls through the cracks when you work long hours, and that’s okay. When you're a busy mom, your house may not always look like a scene out of Pottery Barn, or your kid's wardrobe might need a little updating. That's okay. They invented house cleaners and Amazon Prime for a reason. Does my son know he’s loved by my husband and I? Yes. Is he learning and developing normally? Yes. Are we meeting his mental and activity needs to ensure he continues to develop normally? Yes. Am I doing my best to foster a loving and caring environment for him while simultaneously teaching and giving limitations and disciplining appropriately? Yes. If you answer yes to all of those questions and you’re managing to hold things together at work, you’re doing an excellent job. Keep things simple, and don’t sweat the small stuff. Compartmentalizing Work vs. Home I think some of the best advice I have received regarding work-life balance is to compartmentalize your work and home life. When you’re at work, be at work. When you’re at home, be at home. Yes, I realize it is impossible to do this 100%. Especially in my profession when I am on call and receiving calls and questions while I’m at home, or leaving home after hours to check on patients. It can be challenging to come home and not worry about that patient that isn’t doing as well as you like, or the disgruntled client that might try to reem you on Yelp. However, when you spend a lot of time at work and have just a few hours each night with your little ones and family, it’s crucial to focus on the quality of time you have with them. From the time I’m home from work to the time my son goes to bed, I try to focus on him as much as possible. We play, we read books, we sing, and we dance. If I find myself thinking about a case or a situation at work during this playtime, I try to remind myself to live in the present. One thing I make an effort to do with my son every night is to give him a bath and lay down with him as he falls asleep, with exception for the times I’m out of town or out on an emergency. This is our special time together, and something we do together consistently. Also, during bath time or cuddle-to-sleep time, I do not answer my phone, even when I’m on call. Neither of these tasks take a very long period of time, so it can wait for five minutes. On the other hand, when I’m at work, I try to focus on my patients and my tasks for the day. Again, being more efficient will just help me get home to that baby more often. Just admit to yourself that when you try to be 50/50, you’re less effective. It’s Okay (and Good) to Say No I struggle with this, and I think a lot of other veterinarians do too. We’re people pleasers and over-achievers, so when someone asks you to join that board or take on an extra project, we say yes. However, I have found that having a child has helped me prioritize and say “no” more often out of necessity. I do my best to stay involved in the community. I’m on a couple of boards for different organizations, I teach a 4-H Veterinary Sciences Class, and my clinic participates in several community events. However, when you work like I do, you can’t say yes all the time. I have found that if an extracurricular activity is not going to bring me joy and satisfaction and it is simply going to make my life more hectic, then it’s easy to say no to. If you have trouble saying no to people’s face or over the phone, simply say, “Let me think about it, and I’ll contact you via e-mail in a couple of days.” This gives you an opportunity to gracefully bow out. Mutual Support and Personal Choice It’s important to know that what may be balanced for you would not be balanced for someone else. Some moms like me consistently work over 50 hours each week, see their kids on evenings and weekends, and for the most part, find satisfaction in that. Others stay home part-time or full-time. For moms, it is so important for us to come from a place of mutual support and respect. Too often, mothers who work outside the home and mothers who work inside the home get pitted against each other, and ultimately, we all suffer because of it. Too often we get too distracted by trying to compete for who has it worse or just judging each other in general. The truth is, no matter what your work life or lifestyle is, Momming is hard. We can all use all the support we can get. Working moms aren’t neglecting their children. And SAHMs aren’t vapid women without ambition that lay around and watch TV in leggings all day. We all work hard and share similar experiences, so let’s come together and support each other. Another thought I would like to leave you with is having a good work-life balance isn’t about having that perfect balance of home life and work life every. Single. Day. That’s simply not realistic. There will be some days or weeks that you need to focus on work, but those need to be balanced out with days that you are just a mom, wife, or partner. I don’t have it all figured out yet, and I certainly don’t feel like an expert on this subject, but I hope that some of the things I have learned on this journey of my veterinary career and motherhood can help others. Keep on truckin’, ladies! In a little over a week, I will be giving a talk about balancing career and home life at the Boonslick Women’s Business Network (BWBN). When I was asked to do this talk, my first thought was that I was grossly under qualified to discuss this topic. I felt and still feel this way for a lot of reasons. For one thing, in the recent past I have put sugar in my Keurig, instead of coffee grounds, and cumin instead of cinnamon in my husband’s oatmeal (at least it was his oatmeal, not mine). Today, I literally got locked out of my vet truck by a goat (you can’t make this stuff up). Also, coming out of calving season and into the busy spring season of my business, I feel less balanced than ever. I also have to acknowledge that I am a bit spoiled and have a huge support system (see “It Takes a Village” below). But now that I’ve acknowledged my privilege, I will say that I have managed to run a very busy, growing practice, undergo cancer treatment, and keep my baby happy and healthy. So yes, I still feel underqualified to cover this topic, but I will give myself a little pat on the back (as all mothers should). Also, thanks for reading this blog post as it is helping me prepare for said presentation. I’ve heard work-life balance referred to as the likening of walking/balancing on a train track. It’s never easy, and you are constantly at risk of falling to one side or the other. You stay late at work to treat that dog that’s been hit by a car and miss your kid’s little league baseball game, falling heavily to the work side. One day, you stay home with your sick child on a day that you know will be super busy at work, falling to the home side. While there is some truth to this interpretation, the thing I don’t like about it is you never truly feel balanced, and you are constantly letting someone down and feeling guilty. I’m an optimist, so I like to think that it is truly possible to feel satisfied at work and satisfied at home. While I may not feel balanced at the moment, I feel like I am learning to find that balance. Below, I will give my biggest challenges or barriers to finding that balance and how I address them. Enjoy! Long Hours/On Call: It Takes A Village This is a challenge for many women in my profession, but other professions as well. I love my career and can’t imagine doing anything else. But when you’re a mixed animal veterinarian in a rural area, you can’t shut out the lights and forward your emergencies to the emergency clinic like they do in big cities. When you work a lot with cattle, you can bet that you are going to have an incredibly high call volume January through March (the peak of calving season). Because there are two veterinarians in my clinic, we split calls evenly. That means that 50% of my life, I have to be accessible to clients 24/7 for emergencies. It has always been hard, but after having my son, it became a huge undertaking. My first calving season after having him was not bad. For one thing, we had a mild winter, which means I didn’t have to deliver as many calves. I also found that a three month old baby that wasn’t very mobile and slept most of the time was quite easy to take on emergency calls. I felt like I had this whole mom thing figured out. Once my son started walking (which happened pretty early, at 10 months) and became more and more active, taking him on calls became next to impossible. My husband, whom I used to rely on to help with emergencies, I would now rely on to watch the baby while I went on a call. It was tough learning to fly solo on emergencies. When you work all week and have no down time on the weekends to just be with your family, you’re flooded with heartbreak, regret, and guilt. Yes, this is the profession that I chose to do, and I knew what I was getting into, but it doesn’t make it less difficult. The most important thing to come to terms with when you work over 60 hours some weeks is that IT TAKES A VILLAGE! I have the privilege of having both grandmothers living nearby, and both of them are retired. Not only do they take turns watching my son during the week, but sometimes they watch him if I get an emergency that I know I’ll need an extra hand with (my husband). When you work a lot, you need help, and it’s okay to ask for it. Another way I’ve tackled this challenge is to try to be as efficient as possible and manage my time better. I’m not perfect yet, but I’m getting there. This involves delegating more at work so my team can feel empowered to help and I can get home earlier. This means typing up medical records while simultaneously calling clients for checkups or placing that drug order for the day. A couple of weeks ago when I had a hit-by-car dog that needed extensive surgery and then two hospitalized patients to take care of afterward, I was literally running from one place to the next in the clinic to get done faster. That’s how much I wanted to get home to see my boy, and I got a little exercise in since I didn’t have time for it that day. When you have a busy work schedule, try to keep things simple. If you can squeeze it in to your budget, hire someone to clean your house twice a week. Let your husband do some cooking (See Cultural Expectations for Women below). Delegate at work, but delegate in the home too. You can’t do it all. Mom Guilt This is a tough one. Honestly, I’m not quite sure I’ve figured out how to manage my guilt. I feel like if I had, I could write a book about it and become a very rich woman. However, I will list a few things that seem to help me. Participation in a faith community has been very helpful. I fell away from going to church in my college and veterinary school years. I was too busy, and I had been turned off by too many preachers combining religion and politics. Shortly before my son was born, we started attending a church in my local town. They had Sunday evening services, which were nice because I liked to have at least one morning during the week that I didn’t have to be somewhere, so Sunday mornings were sometimes hard for me to swing. We also started participating in a young adults Bible study. While many times I have to skip sessions or services because I have to go on an emergency, becoming involved in a faith community has given me the “peace that passes understanding.” Some days, it’s all I have. Also, having a church family gives you an immediate support group. If you’re not religious, try joining a book club or some community organizations that you’re interested in. Another thing that can help with the mom guilt phenomenon is simply interacting and socializing with other moms. Realizing that you have the same challenges, and supporting each other. Unfortunately, I don’t have as much time to do this as I would like. This is mostly limited to the occasional wine night with my sister-in-law and brunch with my veterinary school friends. This allows me to fill my bucket and feel rejuvenated about life. Yes, I still feel guilty. A lot. But little by little, I’m learning to manage it. Cultural Expectations for Women If you are a woman or any person that doesn’t completely have their head in the sand, you know that there are cultural expectations that make it challenging for working mothers. Yes, we have come a long way, but we have a long way to go. The broken gender dynamics in the workplace have a (somewhat) simple solution: Give women more power and responsibility. Fixing the broken gender dynamics in our homes is a different story. On average, women who work full time do 60% of the house chores and 80% of the child care. Juggling all of those responsibilities is challenging to say the least. Also, part of the reason the phenomenon mom guilt exists is that we are expected to feel guilty. Our society is coming a long way, but there is still an underlying attitude that as a mother, if you have not sacrificed your physical and mental health along with your professional aspirations for your children, then you are being a bad mother. Working late because a parvo puppy came in? Bad mother. Taking an hour or so to yourself to exercise, read a book, or watch Netflix with a glass of wine? Bad mother. Men do not seem to feel the level of guilt we do. When a man works long and hard hours, he is commended for his hours of hard work and supporting his family. Don’t get me wrong, I realize men have challenges with work-life balance too. But this is my blog, so I’m writing it from my perspective. Ha! I’m not sure I know why men don’t feel the level of guilt we do, but I have to feel that a lot of it is our culture and what is expected of us. I can’t tell you the number of times my husband has had older ladies fawning over him for cooking or taking our son to the grocery store by himself. They come up to me and tell me what a wonderful husband and father he is. It’s true. He is a wonderful husband and father, but never once have I been commended for taking my kid to the grocery store or on a cow dystocia. Just sayin’! Unfortunately, I don’t have all the answers to this problem. I wish I did. All I can say is that it’s okay to delegate tasks to your partner (if you don’t happen to be a single mom). My husband does 95% of the cooking in our house. He is a wonderful cook. I actually have a hard time cooking when he is home because he hovers over me and asks why I’m using so many dishes or chopping the onion that way. He’s not much of a cleaner, but he has learned to help with dishes or things around the house out of necessity. A lot of what can hold women back from receiving help in the home is a phenomenon called maternal gatekeeping. Outside of the home, our society still largely has a men-on-top-women-on-bottom structure, inside the homes, women have a lot of sway. We organize schedules, doctors appointments, file the taxes, pay the bills, do the laundry, and wash the dishes. These extra responsibilities hurt women professionally. Yes, sometimes men can be lazy or clueless when it comes to housework, or even simply pretend they don’t know how to do things, but men are not the only ones to blame. A study on this subject done by Schoppe-Sullivan found that women are more likely to gatekeep if they perceive their relationship to be less stable, when they feel anxious or depressed or hold excessively high standards, or when their husbands lack confidence. My advice is to not be a gatekeeper, but a collaborator. Yes, sometimes you might think in your head, “For the love of God, why can’t he learn to fold a towel correctly?” Or, “You’re holding the bottle wrong, let me do it.” Don’t discourage your husband or partner from helping. Odds are, they haven’t done this stuff as much as you have. They’ll learn a more efficient way with time and experience. Sometimes it’s best just to keep your mouth shut and graciously accept help. I’m not saying that you can’t ever correct or advise your husband on household tasks, but do so nicely, and less often than you would like. That’s about half of what I want to say on this topic (actually 1/10th but I can’t go into every little detail about how to load the dishwasher). Next week I will discuss health, money, and personal choices that can help give us all a better work-life balance, and then I’ll promote my new book, Work-Life Balance in 5 Easy Steps. I’m just kidding - it’s not that easy. Have you been listening? It’s a continuous process. Please send me any tips about how you achieve work-life balance so I can share them with the group and convince the women of BWBN that I know what I’m talking about. We all need a pep talk sometimes and hopefully I can give them the encouragement that all women need on such an important topic.
March is Pet Poison Prevention Awareness Month! A good start to poison prevention is knowing what toxins you have in your home. Some toxins may be obvious to you, and some might not. After attending a business conference earlier this week, it was clear that the toxicities veterinarians see depend widely on the regions they practice and the demographics they serve. I’ll start with the most common toxicities I see in pets, and then maybe discuss some stories of other practitioners in other areas of the country. Most common dog toxicity: Rodenticide This is by far the most common toxicity I see in dogs. Rodenticides (rat or mouse poison) are anticoagulants, meaning they cause internal bleeding. Most of them do so by blocking the synthesis of vitamin K, which is an essential component to blood clotting. There are lots of different types of rat poisons, including warfarin, hydroxycoumadin, brodifacoam, bromadiolone, diphacinone, diphenadione, pindone, and chlorohacinone. Anticoagulants like warfarin and hydroxycoumadin take multiple feedings and kill rodents over several days. The other ingredients listed can be 50 to 100 times more deadly as they’re designed to kill in one feeding. If a dog ingests mouse or rat poison without the owner noticing, it usually takes several days to show symptoms. Symptoms include weakness, pale mucous membranes (from blood loss), nose bleeds, blood in vomit, blood in stool or bleeding from rectum, hemorrhages or hematomas on skin, and coughing/difficulty breathing from blood in lungs. Oftentimes once these symptoms are noticed, patients have to be hospitalized, given blood transfusions and started on vitamin K supplementation. Depending on how advanced or anemic they are at diagnosis, they don’t always make it. If you notice your dog eating rat poison or suspect they have, take them to the veterinarian right away so vomiting can be induced. After vomiting is induced, your animal can be placed on a vitamin K supplement that they take for three weeks. When this immediate treatment is done, you can prevent the illness and the problems listed in the paragraph above. If you have pets in your home or around your home, I advise against using rat or mouse poison. I see cases of toxicity even when owners feel like the poisons are well hidden. I recommend the snap mouse traps or sticky traps. Oftentimes, a cat that is a good mouser (or a few cats depending on your mouse population) works better than anything else. Bear in mind that female cats are generally better mousers than males. Most common cat toxicity: Spot-on flea/tick medication for dogs The most common toxicity I see in cats is from flea/tick medication meant for dogs when owners have accidentally applied it to their cats, or owners that have applied such medication on purpose not realizing that it is toxic to cats. Generally, this is from a pyretherin or pyrethroid toxicity, an ingredient used in many over-the-counter spot-on flea/tick products for dogs. There’s a reason why cats are more sensitive to these products. One of them is their high surface area to weight ratio. Because cats are smaller, they receive a much higher dose of the active ingredient. In addition, cats do not excrete or metabolize pyrethrins or pyrethroids as efficiently. These products usually affect the central and peripheral nervous system, acting at the sodium channels which causes continuous firing of the nerve fibers. Symptoms are often immediate after application, but can take up to 72 hours to appear. Symptoms are usually tremors/muscle fasciculations, twitches, seizures, stumbling, and drooling. If you notice this, immediately give your cat a bath in warm water and dish soap, wrap them in a towel, and then take them to your veterinarian or closest emergency center. Once the product is bathed off, medications often have to be given to control the twitching. The best way to prevent this from happening is to clearly separate flea/tick products from your dogs versus your cats. Make sure you look at the boxes carefully before application so you are aware what products you are applying to whom. In one of my patients with this toxicity, the client had removed the tubes from all of the flea/tick products for their cats and dogs from the boxes and put them all in the same drawer. I do not recommend doing that as it is even easier to mix products up. Even more troubling is a couple of cases I have had in application of a product that is actually labeled for cats. The product in question is Sargeant’s Silver for cats. Sadly, you can still buy it on the Internet: http://www.ebay.com/itm/like/401431460398 If you look closely at the box, it gives the main ingredient, and then lists “OTHER INGREDIENTS: 45%.” This is a huge red flag. In this case, that other ingredient is a pyrethrin or pyrethroid, which is toxic to cats. In both cases of toxicity, I contacted the EPA (who regulates that product). Clearly, it did not do any good as it is still available online. It is troubling that products online or on store shelves are dangerous for pets, even if used by label directions. Even if you do not buy your flea and tick products for your pets from your veterinarian (and I highly recommend doing so), I highly recommend contacting your veterinarian or discussing what products they recommend during your pet’s appointment. Sure, certain over-the-counter products can be enticing because they are cheap. But often, they are ineffective. And even worse, they can be dangerous. I understand the draw of buying online more than anyone. I try my best to buy a lot of products locally, sometimes I simply don’t have time, or certain items like diapers and wipes can be bought so much cheaper from big box stores or Amazon Prime. Since those big box stores are a bit of a drive for me in a rural area, I often opt for Amazon Prime for a lot of purchases. If you’re going to purchase products online, I am going to put in a brief plug for my clinic’s online store. All products are shipped from a reputable veterinary distributor, and there is no risk of counterfeit products. Many people purchase flea and tick products or other pet medication from websites and it looks very similar to the real thing...but it’s not. Buying online, if you are not familiar with the source, can be dangerous for that reason. If you buy from your veterinarian’s online pharmacy, you know that the source of these products is safe, and the products are stored correctly. Oftentimes, products from your veterinarian’s pharmacy may be cheaper than in the clinic as the veterinarian doesn’t have the added expense of stocking that medication. In addition, you’re keeping your business local, which is always a plus. Okay, that concludes my soap box discussion of purchasing pet products online or from big box stores. “Other” Toxicities: Recreational or Non-recreational drugs While attending a business workshop earlier this week, there was a discussion of certain toxicities that are increasing in certain areas of the country. Some of my colleagues in Colorado and California are seeing an increased incidence of marijuana toxicity (or cannabis sativa). Dogs are most often affected by this (96% of cases), but it can be seen in cats. As you know, many states are passing laws allowing the medical or recreational use of these drugs. There are many forms, whether the plant form or various edibles. In many cases, owners are carelessly leaving these products in places that are accessible to their curious pets. I spoke to one colleague in California that sees at least one case per week. A few veterinarians described quite entertaining scenarios of a veterinarian in an exam room with a patient with obvious signs of such toxicity, and usually the mother and a teenage son. In one case, the mother and the son had a 20-minute conversation over where their stashes were hid, and how they didn’t have any left in those various spots (the possibility that there was none left because the dog ate it must have been lost on them). In other cases, it likely results in the teenage son being grounded. One veterinarian even said, “It appears like your dog is acting like some of my buddies in college. Is it possible he could have ingested some marijuana?” Symptoms can vary based on the amount consumed. In mild cases, you usually notice lethargy, altered response to visual and verbal stimuli, and other behavior changes. More severe cases can result in stumbling, low body temperature, low heart rate, low blood pressure, engorged or red tissue around the eyes, lack of appetite, diarrhea, or dysphoria (vocalization). Coma and death can result in very severe cases. Treatment is usually successful and usually involves supportive care and treatment of various symptoms. I personally have never seen a marijuana toxicity case (that I know of). I have, however, seen an amphetamine toxicity (probably more Missouri’s style). However, regardless on your thoughts of the legalization of such products, it’s important for owners and veterinarians to be aware and keep these drugs out of reach of animals. While there has been an increase in marijuana toxicities due to changes in laws, toxicities of other prescription drugs are far more common. Anti-inflammatory medications, antidepressants, and stimulant medications like ADHD medications are most common. Nicotine and amphetamine toxicities can often be seen. The hardest part of diagnosing a drug toxicity for a veterinarian is often getting the client to be honest with them. Most of us try to ask questions from a place of caring for the pet and wanting to treat them. While prevention and keeping drugs out of accessible locations is the best prevention, if an ingestion does happen, please be honest with your veterinarian. If your pet has ingested a recreational or illegal drug, remember that as veterinarians, we are not the DEA. We just need to know what your pet ate so we can target our treatment toward whatever drug was ingested. When it comes to toxicities, prevention is key. So as a pet owner, educate yourself on products that are toxic to pets and keep them out of their reach. If you think your pet has ingested a poison, please contact your veterinarian immediately. The Pet Poison Helpline can also be extremely helpful. Follow the link below for their phone number, information, and the top 10 most common toxicities for dogs and cats: http://www.petpoisonhelpline.com/pet-owners/basics/top-10-pet-poisons/ The past couple of months, heck, even the past year, have been a bit hectic. I had some other blog posts planned for this week and the coming weeks, but honestly, they're more of a writing project than I can handle right now. I find myself spending most of my free time playing with my son while he's awake and then catching up on some business homework for a workshop I’m participating in next week during his nap time. However, my son woke up from his nap, just fell back asleep in my arms, and now I have some found time for writing until he wakes up. As crazy as things are, I thought I would take some time to reflect a little and give my blog readers an update on my life. Many clients have come in lately asking how I'm doing, and honestly, I don't know how to answer. I'm in limbo land. I'm having some side effects/complications to treatment that aren't answered at this point, but hopefully they will be soon. I think a lot of cancer patients know this feeling. You get to the end of treatment and feel triumphant. In my case, the holidays came soon after. Once the buzz of the holidays was over, what remained was lingering side effects, radiation flare ups, and weird symptoms like phantom smells and double vision. Then, my first PET CT was last month, and it was clear! Triumph again! And days later, more mouth sores, swelling, and returning double vision. I'm not one to sit at home and feel sorry for myself, so I keep plowing ahead with business workshops, speaking engagements, working full time, and various other distractions. Radiation and recovery from such has not been a walk in the park. I have rip-roaring dry eye which requires me to put in drops every hour. I have double vision at times. I have swelling, bruising, and fatigue. But at the same time, I know others have it so much worse. My challenge at the moment is working with my medical team to try to figure out if these side effects are a result of radiation or an infection. Three rounds of strong antibiotics have helped but failed to resolve the problems completely. I have an appointment with an infectious disease doctor in a month, so I'm just trying to hang in there until that time. It has become progressively difficult to get things on my to-do list done as fatigue knocks me out after I put my son to bed every evening. Every mom knows that after the kids go to bed, it is prime time to knock out that to-do list...or watch Netflix, depending on how motivated you are. Lately, I bundle up and sleep. I feel myself get progressively further and further behind. I look at the piled up dishes, the dirty laundry, and the pile of unfinished business projects. I see my husband doing all the cooking (let's face it, he did that before my cancer diagnosis) and scrambling to do the housework while I work on business tasks. I feel completely inadequate and useless around the house, as opposed to mildly inadequate and useless around the house. I've never been very domestic, but I would at least pull my weight. I often wonder when I'll feel normal again. I wonder if I'll ever feel like I have my crap together. I wonder if I'll ever learn to live without the constant fear that this cancer will come back again. Slowly but surely, I'm learning to give myself grace. I keep reminding myself that now is the time to rest and recover. Even though I don't have all the answers to my questions now, I have faith that my medical team will figure things out. It was a wonderful moment yesterday during my recheck with my ophthalmologist. My radiation oncologist called to check on me during my appointment, so they talked with each other and formulated a plan. I feel fortunate to have multiple specialists who care and are motivated to find answers. That is a gift, and there's no doubt they'll figure things out. My ophthalmologist put it well yesterday in saying, “Of course you're weird. You're a doctor.” So for those of you wondering what's going on with me, that's the jist of it. The point of this blog isn't to make people feel sorry for me or show up at my house with cleaning supplies and food. I have a wonderful support network, and we are making due. However, it's all too easy for those with chronic illnesses or other challenges to fight their battles alone in silence. For the past couple of months, I have isolated myself from friends and family. I put on a smile and pretend that everything is back to normal. All because I truly wish everything was back to normal. I want others out there that are fighting illness and battles that are even worse than mine to know that you are not alone. We may be in limbo land, but we don't have to go it alone. For now, I'm learning to let go of things that are out of my control, live in the present, and delight in the knowledge that God will give me strength as he always has. My big brain doctors will figure things out, and I know there's a light at the end of the tunnel, even if I can't see it right now. I'm learning to live in limbo land. And for now, the to-do list can wait. Living in limbo land is a better place to be than starting at square one though, afraid of a diagnosis I didn’t know much about. It has made me appreciate those moments at home when I’m not helping much but enjoying my life in the moment. While part of my life may be in limbo, and exhaustion may be wearing me down, I have so many things to be thankful for and that will be enough to keep the smile on my face even when it hurts. March 2nd was Employee Appreciation Day. I’m a bit late. My employees can take it out on me during bosses day, if that's a thing. As an owner of a veterinary practice, I feel extremely blessed and fortunate to have the employees that I have. Also, as an owner of a practice, I could probably do a better job at praising them on the things that they do well. For this week’s blog, I’m writing a quick blurb on why I’m thankful for each one of my employees, which I’m sharing with you and not them because I don’t want them to get too big of a head about it. Next thing you know, they’ll expect me to bring a cake. Donna Brand, Office Manager Donna started working for the clinic in 1987. That’s 31 years, folks! Donna would tell you that she started working for our clinic when she was eleven years old. Donna is the friendly smile to greet you, and she keeps our books up-to-date. Every workplace needs that one person to say what needs to be said, even when everyone else is afraid to say it, and that is Donna. Even as the owner, she’s not afraid to tell me what I need to hear. She has been a huge help since I bought into the practice in 2014. She’s very committed to the clinic, our clients, and their pets. She is forthright, which is an asset when you have an employee with as much experience as her. Donna keeps things running smoothly, and she keeps everyone in line (including myself). Carolyn Polson, Receptionist Carolyn started working for us in July 2012, just a month after I started working as an Associate Veterinarian. Prior to working for us, she was employed for 24 years as office coordinator for a local dentist. Carolyn is great with clients, has great phone etiquette, and is always willing to take time just to talk to clients and show empathy. She has always been open to progress and new changes I have made. Omer Conrow, Veterinary Assistant This year will be Omer’s twentieth year working for our clinic. Let me make a mental note just now to plan some sort of barbecue/calf testicle fry to celebrate this occasion. Omer started working for the practice the Monday after he graduated high school. He is our large animal tech guru, although he also helps with the small animal side from time to time. He’s also known as the feral cat whisperer in the clinic. Omer has been around long enough that he knows the ropes. In fact, he helped train me when I started working for the clinic years ago. In the early years of practice during stressful times, he would help reassure me. He keeps me safe on large animal calls. He was an immense help during my pregnancy as he really stepped up and took on some of the more dangerous tasks when cowboy skills were needed. Omer has a pretty tough exterior, but he is one of the kindest people you will meet, and he would give you the shirt off his back. It’s true that I’m his boss and he’s my employee, but he’s also like a big brother to me. His extra weight is also quite handy at the end of those OB chains. Angela Wilhoit, Veterinary Assistant Angela has been volunteering/shadowing with us since 2006 and started working for us in 2008. Angela is the workhorse of the practice. While she’s officially a veterinary assistant, primarily with small animal, she is cross-trained to do reception, book work, and large animal calls. It’s a pretty common occurrence for me to walk up to Angela and say, “We need to get the preanesthetic bloodwork on that cat that’s in for surgery tomorrow,” and she’ll respond with, “I already got it by myself.” You know what they say. Veterinary technicians can do everything veterinarians do. But when veterinarians do it, it takes twice as long, costs twice as much, and leaves twice the mess. Luckily, Angela is not gone very often, but when she most recently had to take a day or two off for being sick, it took two veterinarians to do her job. Like I said, we probably left twice the mess and didn’t do it as well. If you happen to think I’m a great veterinarian, it’s because Angela is behind the scenes making sure everything is done properly. She also makes sure our patients are treated with compassion and love. Robyn Harvey, Veterinary Assistant Robyn began shadowing with us the summer of 2004 and started working for the clinic in the fall of 2004. Robyn got a Bachelors in Animal Science from the University of Missouri and then moved on to get a Masters in Beef Ruminant Nutrition, working for the clinic on weekends the entire time. Even now when she has a job as a full-time research assistant at Sinclair Research Facility, she continues to work Saturdays for us. I’m pretty sure she still does it just because she loves veterinary medicine and working with animals. That kind of passion doesn’t come often. Her positive attitude and love for the profession make her a pleasure to work with. Benjamin Potter, DVM, Associate Veterinarian Dr. Potter started working with us in June 2016. He was the first (and only) veterinarian I’ve ever hired. Dr. Potter has been a wonderful addition to our practice. He has a strong passion for food animal medicine and educating farmers on progressive farm practices. He’s also great with small animal clients, so he’s very well rounded. Just six months after he started, I had my son and took six weeks of maternity leave. The following year, I was diagnosed with cancer and had to take some time off for treatment. He has been a trooper through it all and taken it all in stride. He has helped me grow the practice, has excellent communication skills, and he’s a very hard worker. Yeah. He’s pretty good for a millenial...I kid, I kid. With the two of us in the practice being young, enthusiastic, and motivated, I feel like our potential is unlimited. I’m thankful that he’s someone that I can trust to leave the practice with during the times I’ve had to take off the past couple of years. It has allowed me to rest easy and heal, and that is invaluable. As you can see, I have a lot of great employees, individuals I can rely on. Sure, business experts constantly advise practice owners to keep their professional distance from their employees, and there’s reason for that. However, I consider myself fortunate that my employees are my friends and feel like part of my extended family. Maybe it’s just because we’re a small-town, rural practice, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. I get to work with the best people (in my unbiased opinion). To my employees, thank you for your hard work, your support, and allowing me to do what I do.
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Jessica Stroupe, DVM
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August 2017
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