On Saturday, December 19th, after a five-month fight with aggressive cancer, we said goodbye to our dear Shalane. At just under three years of age, she was taken from us sooner than we would like. However, while her cancer made a sudden turn and progressed quickly, I am quite thankful that she was in great spirits and had a great quality of life...until she didn’t. Instead of focusing on the end of her life, I would like to write a tribute to describe what made us love this wonderful dog so much. While it has been over a month since we lost Shalane, I am just now ready to even write this tribute and tackle this subject (despite planning to do so for a few weeks and putting it off). Shalane entered our lives as a young puppy in the summer of 2013, right after we returned from vacation from Yellowstone National Park. We had lost our beloved mutt, Bandit, two months prior and were ready to fill the void in our home. A home is not complete without a dog, indeed. My husband’s family had Great Pyrenees dogs growing up for their sheep, so he always had a fondness for the breed. I myself have a weakness for very large, fluffy dogs, so Shalane was the perfect fit for our house. As mentioned in previous blogs, we chose to name her Shalane, after our favorite female distance runner, as we’re both running nerds. Little did we know that for the duration of having this dog, we would be faced with mispronunciations and confused looks from people. I guess I’ll just take that as a lesson when the time comes to name my children...or future dogs. Shalane was a white ball of fluffy cuteness, and she filled our home with happiness and helped us heal from our previous loss. She loved to play with other dogs and was quite affectionate while also being fiercely independent (this is a breed trait for Great Pyrenees). They’re not generally the greatest at obedience per se or following commands. They’re actually very similar to a husband. They hear you perfectly, yet still walk away as if they’re deaf...until you mention food. Actually, I guess since my husband does most of the cooking and I do the eating in this house, I’m more like the Great Pyrenees in this situation. I guess that’s why Shalane and I got along so well. We’re both stubborn, independent ladies that love to eat and roll in cow crap. As much as I loved Shalane, my husband also had quite a special relationship with her. When she was still a growing puppy, my husband would call me while I was running errands and tell me, “Shalane needs a new dog bed. She’s growing out of her puppy bed, so you need to buy her one this afternoon. Oh, and get her some more treats and toys while you’re at it.” My husband has always loved our dogs, and was deeply heartbroken when we lost Bandit, our previous dog. But his relationship with Shalane was different. Maybe it was because she reminded him of Angel, his Pyrenees growing up, or maybe it was just because she was a girl and had him wrapped around her paw. Oh boy, we’re going to be in trouble if we ever have daughters. While I call Shalane a Great Pyrenees because that is really what she took after, she was also 25% lab. This was quite apparent when we would take her to the lake to swim. She loved to swim, and despite her large size, would float through the water like a fluffy polar bear. She grew and grew, and nearly ate us out of house and home. Luckily, I’m a veterinarian and could supply her with an endless supply of good-quality large breed puppy food (Science Diet). While she didn’t realize it, Shalane was quite lucky to have a veterinarian as an owner because she was my “problem child.” It all started when she developed parvo at 20 weeks of age (despite being fully vaccinated). This rarely happens, but of course it happened to my dog. When this happened, not only was I upset because my dog was sick, but I was also quite embarrassed and afraid to tell anyone. While parvo can happen to puppies that are well cared-for and starting their immunization series as they haven’t built up their immunities yet, there is a certain stigma that comes with having a parvo puppy. I like to think that I don’t judge most of my clients, but it was apparent that I did so based on my feelings when my own pet came down with this illness. Most of the puppies I treat for parvo come from lower income clients who either can’t afford or don’t bother to vaccinate their pets. Some of them just don’t realize when they’re supposed to start their puppy series (which is at six weeks of age, by the way), and many more happen to buy a puppy from a breeder only for the puppy to come down with parvo days later. It can happen to anyone, but it can also be easily avoided. Shalane was my first and only patient to date that developed parvo despite being fully vaccinated, however, because she had been vaccinated, she had reduced severity of her illness and was out of our clinic hospital isolation in three to four days. After that battle was over, she started to develop ear infections and skin irritation associated with allergies. With special food, anti-allergy medication, and weekly baths (not an easy job with a 100 pound fluff ball in a stand-up shower), we figured out a system to manage that. The following summer, she developed strange wart-like lesions on her face that I determined was a canine papilloma virus that she had somehow contracted. This diagnosis was also a first for me, but interestingly, I have treated a similar but different virus in cattle. The treatment: pinching and twisting the warts off. The action of pinching the wart actually releases some of the virus into the bloodstream, which acts as a natural form of vaccination. Pretty cool, huh? And then, of course, she developed an aggressive cancer at the age of two. But as much as Shalane was a “problem child,” she lit up our house and was an absolute blessing. A day in the life of Shalane would include waking up and hearing our alarm. Towards the end of her life, my husband Patrick took a job as a tree trimmer which meant he got up an hour earlier than I did. Shalane took delight in this and as soon as Patrick got up, she took his place in the bed. She would then have breakfast. Actually, being fiercely independent, she wasn’t the type to eat right as the food was put down. She would wait until one of the goats or goat dogs that belonged to my in-laws would come to visit. One goat in particular, a large white nanny goat with horns, took quite the liking to Shalane’s dog food. She would see that goat coming from half a mile away. She protected her food with the same vigor that she protected our home. She loved it when Boo and Thor, a Pyrenees mix and Anatolian Shepherd, would come visit and play. Some days Shalane would gleefully greet them and play for hours. Other days, she would chase them away from “her” house. Ladies can be a little moody and territorial sometimes. Her passion in life was sitting on a high point in the pasture in front of our house and looking over her domain. She was also quite the bone collector, but not so much a hunter. She wasn’t quick enough for that. Her main motivation for activity was play time with Boo and Thor, chasing off intruders, barking at coyotes, or even just barking at imaginary things. As soon as we would pull into the driveway after a work day, she would get up and run and bark at “something” like clockwork. I guess she was trying to show off and prove how hard she was working all day. We would try our best to bring her in at night. Even when she wanted to come in, she would still play hard-to-get, yet allow herself to be caught easily. Other times, her independent streak would get the best of her (usually on nights with crisp, beautiful weather), and getting her to come inside was next to impossible. On those nights, we would often hear a scratch on the downstairs window at around 2 or 3 A.M., her signal that she was ready to come inside. However, a wonderful trick that she learned would be to scratch on the window at that hour, and then run off and start barking at something as soon as you opened the door to let her in. This would often result in grunting in frustration and maybe a little swearing. Yet, we would fall for this trick every time and go downstairs to let her in anytime she “knocked.” For as large as she was, she always considered herself a “lap dog” and enjoyed being the center of attention. Shalane also did her job to help my patients at times, “volunteering” to be a blood donor dog. The first time I used her as a donor, it was a Sunday, so my only help was my husband (who is actually pretty good help, by the way). I decided to sedate Shalane for her first blood transfusion. She was a pretty calm dog, but she was also quite large and I didn’t have a lot of help with restraint on a Sunday. The transfusion went on without a hitch, but it turned out Shalane liked her drugs...a lot. She slept for most of the afternoon. I took that opportunity to trim her nails and brush her even more thoroughly than normal. I actually got a call to look at a choked horse later that afternoon. Shalane was still quite sleepy from the transfusion that morning, and I didn’t want to leave her stumbling in the house alone. So we took her along on the farm call in my vet truck. It was a little cramped with me, my husband, and our large dog since I don’t have an extended cab. At one point while I was treating the horse, I opened the truck door to get something. I assured the horse owners on the farm call not to worry, it was just my drunk dog in the truck. As mentioned earlier, Shalane loved to roll in “things” on the farm. Sometimes, she would sneak into the house and jump on the couch or even the bed after rolling in these “things.” Thankfully, she also enjoyed her showers. Actually, she didn’t enjoy the shower so much, but she would endure the process willfully just so she could be dried off with a towel (her favorite thing in the world). Then she would step out of the bathroom which goes directly into our kitchen and immediately shake. I would use this as an opportunity to “mop” the kitchen floor, wiping up the water with a towel. While Shalane was only with us for a relatively short period of time, she forever left “paw prints” on our hearts. Over a month later, the pain of her loss still hurts and will continue to do so for some time. Anyone who loses a pet or has suffered loss of any kind knows that grief comes in waves. With time, those waves get farther and farther apart, broken up by periods of emotional numbness. Sometimes, those pangs of grief come up at the most unexpected and inopportune times. For me, it’s happened while diagnosing a patient with cancer and while euthanizing a pet. Other times, it happens when I pull into the driveway and realize she isn’t there, or in aisle three of the grocery store. However, one thing we do have is the memories listed above to get us through this difficult time. We buried our sweet baby on a hill above her favorite swimming hole on the farm, where she still rests. I look forward to visiting that swimming hole in the heat of the summer and remembering the good times we had there. Shalane may not always follow, but she was ever watchful. She protected and loved us with all that she was. We were hers to guard and hers to love. We love you, Shalane, and always will. Rest in peace, my sweet girl. I know I'll see you over the rainbow bridge someday, cancer-free and running with joy, just like your namesake.
6 Comments
Such a beautiful tribute, I'm so sorry for your loss. Your story brought tears to my eyes as my Golden got lymphoma at 4 years old. He was observed with his tennis balls, carried 3 in his mouth at all times, and always slept with them. He was accepted into a Chemo treatment and doing well until he got a tick bite. I knew it was getting close to the end when he choked on his food and gaged when catching his balls. It was a Saturday and he didn't feel well but yet he brought me his tennis balls to play, my heart so heavy, I know he won't beat this and he still wants to play, how do I put him down. I knew I couldn't go to work that Monday thinking he may choke or suffocate because of his enlarged tonsils and I wasn't there for him. I relate to your story and what a beautiful tribute you wrote. I think being a veterinarian is so much harder than human docs, these animals can't tell you what hurts and when they do hurt because of their loyalty and love for their owners they try so hard not to show it. Sending prayers to you and your family.
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Jessica Stroupe
1/31/2016 08:24:30 am
I am so sorry for your loss! Thank you for sharing your story. Your Golden sounds like he was a great dog. Losing a pet is always hard, but it's especially hard when they're taken from us at a young age. It never feels like you have enough time with them. It sounds like you comforted him and gave him a wonderful life until the end. That's all we can do as pet owners. My thoughts are with you, and I'm glad you enjoyed the tribute.
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Melinda Bowen
2/1/2016 08:17:24 pm
Jessica, this is a beautiful tribute to Shalane. The pictures are my favorite part. Reading your words and seeing pictures of Shalane, I share in your grief. I lost my best friend over a year ago, and every old dog euthanasia still gets to me. I will tell you what people said to me, what I also figured out on my own after over a year
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Jessica Stroupe
2/3/2016 01:32:18 pm
Thank you, Melinda! I think it absolutely helps us empathize with clients better, as painful as it is. I'm so sorry for your loss.
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Bekki
2/2/2016 10:26:25 am
A beautiful tribute! So glad you shared her with us. Spencer and I were smitten!
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2/6/2016 07:20:03 am
I thought of Shalane and her battle recently. I'm sorry her treatments didn't go better. It is awesome that she had such good care, since her life sounded challenging from the start.
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Jessica Stroupe, DVM
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