If you’re curious by the title of this blog post, then you guessed it! Your sassy, local veterinarian and FAVORITE blogger is pregnant! Now that I’ve entered my second trimester (or P2 as we like to call it at the clinic) and felt baby kick for the first time this week (Eeeeee!!!), I figured it was time for a pregnancy-related blog post. Any woman who has been pregnant or had a child knows what it’s like to experience the endless commentary from friends, family, and the general public. This can vary from feelings of support, compliments, very personal questions, or even comments/questions that are just downright strange or offensive. We’re going to discuss the latter because it’s much more entertaining. Veterinarians certainly aren't immune to these comments, most of which are the same things every pregnant woman hears. Since I’m still somewhat of a newbie to this whole pregnancy thing, I’ve also polled some fellow colleagues of mine for their most interesting comments or experiences. Pregnancy seems to give people free reign to comment about your body, attempt to touch you, ask you very personal questions, criticize your decisions, or even open up to you and give you very personal details about their own life. It can make for some pretty interesting dialogue. Enjoy! 1.) Are you supposed to be drinking that? *points at my coffee* I have observed that this category of comment, generally regarding what you should and shouldn't be doing while pregnant, tend to come from men. In the presence of a pregnant woman, many men miraculously become experts in obstetrics. Yes, I have continued my love affair with coffee during pregnancy, drinking just enough to tease me and get me through the work day. So shoot me. Also, drinking coffee in moderation is perfectly healthy for a pregnant woman and her unborn child. Science says so! After quitting wine cold turkey, quitting coffee is too much of a burden to bear, especially with a rigorous work schedule. My advice to men or women tempted to scold a pregnant woman on her health decisions is to simply not do it, unless you're their doctor. It's fair to say that most veterinarians are going to be making informed, educated decisions about their baby’s and their own health. Best not to provoke a hormonal woman that castrates for a living. 2.) You're really going to take maternity leave? It's probably hard to believe that people who are this out-dated actually still exist, but they do. I'm admittedly somewhat of a workaholic. But even for someone like me, cutting the cord, throwing my baby in a sling, shoving ice packs down my pants, and moving on with my work day sounds less than ideal. Yes, I'm going to do my best to stay away from work as much as possible for six weeks (a very minimal amount of time in most countries). I'm not really a parenting expert, but I've heard it's important and time consuming to care for your newborn in the early stages. Bonding is good too. Oh, and maybe healing up from the fact that your birth canal had to accommodate a tiny human’s SHOULDERS. Okay, okay, everybody should recognize my sarcasm here, but when I get this question, or when others before me have gotten this question, it’s almost like a trap. There is no good answer to this question. It’s not even really a question at it’s intention; it’s a criticism. Veterinarians have a lot to consider and details to work out for their maternity leave. Many have to hire relief veterinarians to handle their caseload. Like many other American women, they have to save up as most of them get unpaid leave. If you own a practice like I do, you have to drop in periodically to take care of business things, like monthly taxes and other paperwork...or find someone you can rely on to do that for you if such a person exists. Veterinarians have to to decide for themselves how long to be away. Unfortunately, those decisions are often based more on what they can afford than their personal needs. If you go back to work too soon in order to fulfill your professional responsibilities or for financial reasons, you’re a horrible, workaholic mom that puts work before her child. If you take extra time or leave to be with your child, you’re just the “typical” female professional that pushes their work responsibilities onto others in order to “have it all.” It’s a lose-lose situation. If there’s one thing I’ve learned in these few months of being pregnant and will continue to learn, it’s impossible to satisfy everyone. People will bully and criticize you for the decisions you make as a pregnant woman and as a parent no matter what you do. All you can do is your best, and make the decisions that you think work best for you, your child, and your family. The rest of it doesn’t matter. 3.) Are you going to deliver your own baby? I don’t think any pregnant veterinarian, especially one that works with large animals, can avoid comments like this. There’s usually several references to calf jacks (essentially a come-along that is hooked up to a cow to get a calf out in the event of a tight squeeze) and OB chains. One of my husband’s friends even suggested he bring the OB chains and handles to the hospital as a joke. However, he also warned my husband that I might not have a sense of humor at that point. It’s all about comedic timing. Like many women, I consider myself an excellent multi-tasker, but the combination of labor and delivering my own child might be a bit too much. I try to forget about the fact that both of the veterinarians that owned my practice before me each delivered one of their children alongside the highway on the way to the hospital. This trend concerns me. Do you think it’s possible to just rent a hospital room a month beforehand? 4.) You look too small! I can’t even tell you’re pregnant! I usually choose to take this particular comment as a compliment, but it can also be used to imply that you’re not gaining enough weight during your pregnancy. There are many reasons why women may show more or less than others, from genetics, core strength, height, where they’re carrying, how many children they’ve had, etc. Most of these reasons have nothing to do with their health or the health of their baby. Odds are, their doctor is monitoring their health and weight carefully and making recommendations based on that. As their doctor, it’s their business to do that. Is it yours? Not really. Pregnancy is not an invitation to comment on the expectant mother’s body. Just leave it alone. 5.) Whoa! Are you having twins?! Again, more body comments. Word to the wise, if you’re going to say something to a pregnant woman, especially about her body, “Whoa!” is not a good word to start with. That word should be used for things that are truly amazing and not in reference to a woman’s size. If you can’t contain yourself, at least be equal about it. Many soon-to-be fathers gain weight during pregnancy as well. There is no medical reason for this people! That’s a whoa moment. 6.) Any veterinary/cow comparisons. Everyone thinks they’re a comedian. I’ve only heard a few of these jokes so far, but this is a list that other veterinarians have provided for me, so I have a heads up on what every cattlemen is going to say to me in the coming months. I’ve also included some good responses that I came up with or other veterinarians came up with so I’m prepared with a funny, witty, or disturbing comeback.
7.) I don’t know why women need six weeks maternity leave. I had an appendectomy and was back to work in two weeks! If you’re wondering if someone (obviously a man) actually compared an appendectomy to childbirth, the answer is yes. Yes they did. Believe me. I know what it looks like to recover from an appendectomy. My father-in-law had two of them. If you’re wondering how it’s physically possible to have two appendectomies, just trust me that it’s a long story. I’m also pretty sure my father-in-law was back on the tractor doing farm work five days afterwards (probably against the doctor’s recommendations). As rough as it may have been for my father-in-law, he obviously did not have a screaming baby to take care of while his body healed. That’s a very obvious statement, but I guess some people need this pointed out. By the way, my father-in-law wasn’t the culprit behind this. He can whip out some offensive comments, but so far, they have not been about pregnancy. 8.) Female veterinarians really should be paid less. Their pregnancies make them a liability for the practice, and they miss more work to stay at home with their sick children. And you thought the last comment was bad. This one takes the cake. Part of me wishes that when this was said to me at a dinner party, that I had one too many glasses of wine and handled it with absolutely ZERO tact. Unfortunately, that was not the case because I was pregnant. So instead, I calmly and professionally educated him. I don’t really need to go into detail as to why this comment is inherently false and sexist, especially coming from someone in the leadership of our industry. I think the important thing to point out here is the fact that colleagues of mine time and time again prove comments like this wrong. Most of my colleagues who have been pregnant were delivering calves up until they went into labor. Many others were struggling with contractions all day while seeing appointments at their veterinary clinics. Another colleague of mine returned to classes in veterinary school just four days after having a c-section. Due to a strict rule of more than five missed classes resulting in a failing grade (and there are no exceptions made, even for childbirth), she had the choice of returning to classes quickly or deferring her education (and supporting her family) for an entire year. We all do what we have to do for our families. As the face of veterinary medicine changes to predominantly female, so do the traditional roles of the men in their lives. Most of my colleagues are the primary breadwinners of their families with frequently irregular schedules and emergencies. As a result, their husbands either stay at home full-time, or at least take over many responsibilities like cooking, grocery shopping, staying home with sick kids, etc. Families are more and more of a team approach, which can be difficult for older generations (particularly men of an older generation) to understand. It is our job to educate them and lead by example because the biggest liability in this situation and in our profession is leaders that view women this way. 9.) What are you going to do? Ummm...not quite sure how to respond to this one, especially in reference to news of a pregnancy. What am I going to do for lunch? (which is honestly what’s usually on my mind). What am I going to do this weekend? (probably not much since I’m pregnant and most likely on call). What am I going to do when the baby comes? Wait, you mean I actually have to take care of it? Gee, I hadn’t thought of that. I have a lot of planning to do! 10.) Can I touch your stomach? For me, unless you’re a close friend or family member, the answer is no. I have a bubble. I may be pregnant, but I am not an animal at a petting zoo. But thanks for asking, weird stranger. I know, sooner or later, someone isn’t even going to ask, they’re just going to dive in and rub my belly, but they will step away with a smack on the wrist from my catlike reflexes. There you go, folks! If you’re wondering what it’s like to be pregnant, I hope this was a somewhat entertaining way to show you. It probably also pointed out some obvious prejudices that exist in our profession and many others. My advice to those around pregnant individuals is consider some alternatives to the comments above. If you want to ask questions or learn more about a pregnancy, here is a good place to start: How are you feeling? Is there any way I can help you? You look great! What are you most excited about after your baby comes? All of these are safe comments/questions and might help you avoid the wrath of an emotional woman that just may have reached her limit of nosey questions for the day.
1 Comment
This week was dog bite prevention week. There are many, many things that we could discuss in the category of dog bite prevention, from how to socialize your dog, breed specific legislation, to reading dog body language. While I seem to enjoy the sound of my own voice (or writing?), I know most of you aren’t interested in reading a 50-page blog, so I’m focusing on simple tricks to teach your children how to prevent dog bites. Why do I focus on children, you ask? According to the AVMA website, each year more than 800,000 Americans seek medical attention for dog bites and at least half of those individuals are children. Children are the most common victims of dog bites, and they are most likely to become severely injured. No one wants to imagine a scenario where their child gets bitten or attacked by a dog. Many of you may think this happens most commonly from stray/roaming dogs, or dogs that belong to a stranger or acquaintance. Think again. Most dog bites that affect young children occur during everyday activities and interactions with familiar dogs. It’s easy to think that your dog would never bite you, or especially a child. As a veterinarian, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard the line, “My dog would never bite,” right before it snaps at me. It’s important to remember that EVERY dog has a bite threshold. Here are some tips for teaching children to respect dogs and avoid bites. Ask before petting. If you approach an owner with their dog, ask permission before petting it. This is important even if the dog is wagging its tail and appears friendly. Never EVER pet a dog without asking first. If the owner says you can pet the dog, let the dog see and sniff you before petting. Keep it simple. Educate children at a level that they can understand. Don’t sit your 3-year-old down and give them a 30-minute tutorial on dog body language. Start by teaching them gentle behavior with their dog. Teach them that dogs have likes and dislikes. For instance, dogs do not like hugs and kisses. This is a major cause of facial bites in children. Be a tree! If your child is confronted by a strange, overly excited, or aggressive dog, teach them to “be a tree.” Show them how to stand quietly with their hands clasped in front of them and their head down as if looking at their feet. You want to teach them to avoid escalating the situation by yelling, running, hitting, or making sudden movements. If they are knocked down, you need to show them how to get into a defensive position by covering their head and neck and curling into a ball. Give your dog a safe space. Teach your children that if a dog walks away or goes to its bed or crate, that it is to be left alone. Dogs need a safe space to rest where the child never goes. Actually, I probably know a few mothers that wouldn’t mind having such a safe space from time to time. Children should understand that a dog has to want to play with them, and when the dog leaves, he leaves. Also teach your children to never approach a dog if it is eating, drinking, or chewing on something. Don’t tease a dog! Teach your children not to tease a dog by taking their food, treats, or toys or pretending to hit or kick. Also, it’s not cool to pull on a dog’s ears or tail, climb on top of them, or try to ride them like a horse. If it’s a smaller dog, don’t allow your child to drag them around. Dogs deserve respect, and your children need to learn boundaries. Avoid unknown dogs. If you see an unknown dog wandering around loose, try to leave the area and consider calling animal control. Don’t look a dog directly in the eye. This advice is not to be confused with staring at your dog lovingly in the eyes. This mostly applies to unfamiliar, aggressive dogs. As a runner, I have run into my fair share of aggressive and loose dogs. Usually it’s nothing a handful of gravel can’t cure. However, one of the first things I taught my husband about dog behavior was to not look such dogs directly in the eye. Many dogs interpret this as confrontational or asserting dominance. By comparison, looking at your spouse lovingly in the eyes is perfectly fine. However, giving a complete stranger a stare down is inappropriate, and a little creepy...unless they cut you off in traffic. The same goes with dogs! Be a responsible dog owner! This is one of the most important things you can do in preventing dog bites. Research your breeds and what would work best for your family ahead of time. Dogs or puppies should not be bought or adopted on impulse. Make sure your dog is socialized at a young age. Your dog should feel relaxed around other people and other animals. Train your dog to do basic commands like, “no”, “sit,” “stay,” and “come.” Walk and exercise your dog to keep it stimulated, and make sure you have a leash on your dog in public so you have control over them. I would avoid using retractable leashes if at all possible. There are many reasons NOT to use a retractable leash, including the fact that the length of such leashes allow your dog to get far enough away from you that a dangerous situation can quickly arise. I may even do a whole blog post on retractable leashes. One of the most important aspects of being a responsible dog owner is keeping your pet healthy and vaccinated against rabies and other infectious diseases. Keeping them on appropriate parasite prevention is also important. All of these things can affect how your dog feels and behaves. Most importantly, spay or neuter your dog! A lot of aggressive behavior and health problems can be avoided by simply spaying or neutering. I hope you found these tips helpful. If you are interested in reading up more on educating your children as well as other aspects of dog bite prevention, visit the AVMA Dog Bite Prevention website at https://www.avma.org/public/Pages/Dog-Bite-Prevention.aspx. My husband may argue with this point, but as far as husbands go, I hit the jackpot (for many reasons). Sadly, not because he’s loaded, but he has other redeeming qualities. I married a dairy farmer’s son, so we all know that he didn’t come with a trust fund (I’m saving the trust fund husband for my second marriage). My husband is a hard worker, he cooks, he sometimes cleans, he’s kind, funny, puts up with me, and he helps me with nearly every emergency call I make as a veterinarian. Some people may call that an unwise decision. After reading this blog post, that’s probably the conclusion you’ll make. As sad as it sounds, sometimes our emergency calls are a great opportunity for us to spend time together. Some weeks, the closest thing we have to a date is holding hands on the truck ride home after delivering a calf. Undoubtedly, he’s more excited about helping out on a farm call than an office call. Apparently, restraining a Chihuahua while I put in an IV isn’t quite as fun for a farm boy, and I can’t say I blame him, but he helps with my small animal calls, nonetheless. We’ve had a lot of adventures together, and we’ve learned a lot together in the past four years. Here are a few stories of our after hours adventures. Crazy Cow in a Barn It was our first OB (delivering a calf) together after I graduated. The owner of the cattle was an elderly woman. She said her heifer had been off by herself calving for awhile but not making any progress. We got there and she had the heifer in the barn. I had delivered a calf in this barn a couple of weeks prior, so I knew what the setup involved. It was an older barn, and this particular pen in the barn had large wooden poles in the center and a feeding trough on the far end. When I was there earlier and roped a cow in the barn, it went down like this: The cow seemed relatively gentle, and then I looped the rope around her neck, wrapped the rope around the pole, and began to reel her in to snug up the rope. This is the point where even gentle cows can become crazy. There’s something about a rope tightening around their neck that they don’t like. During this process, my assistant was holding the end of the rope while I tried to move her forward. She went around and around in circles around the pole, and each time she passed by us, my assistant and I would jump in the feed trough to get out of her way. It was like an adult, very dangerous version of skip ball. Remembering my experience from a couple of weeks prior, I knew I didn’t want to repeat that. I started thinking out loud about how we’ll make a makeshift alleyway when my husband said, “I don’t see why you need to get a rope and halter around the heifer anyway. Just walk behind her, hook up your chains to the calf’s legs sticking out, and pull as she walks away.” My husband was raised around very gentle dairy cows, so I’m sure they employed this method frequently on their farm. This was one of his first experiences with beef cattle. I responded by laughing and saying, “How about you try that and I watch?” As we watched the heifer in the pen, she stared at us, snorted, spun around several times, and started pawing at the ground. At this point, I suppose my husband decided that she may try to eat his lunch with his proposed capture method. He helped me put some panels together to make an alleyway. We ran her into the the alleyway, threw a 2x4 behind her, tied her head to a post, and went right to work. The important lesson with this experience: Most beef cows are crazy. Or at least a lot crazier than dairy cows. Nothing can make you fear for your life more than an angry momma cow. Except for maybe an angry cat. Eyeball Jitters It was one of my first on call nights as a practitioner. I got a frantic phone call from an owner, “Is this the vet’s office? My dog just got into a fight with our other dog, and something is terribly wrong with his eye!” I replied, “I’ll be there in 15 minutes.” My husband climbed in the truck with me, and we headed to the clinic. The owners arrived with their pug, and it was what I suspected: a proptosis. Proptosis literally means protrusion of the eyeball outside of its socket. Brachycephalic breeds (flat-faced breeds), like pugs, are more susceptible to this condition, especially after an altercation with another animal. My husband reacted to this injury the way most normal human beings would react - he cringed. Little did he know what else was in store for the evening. In many cases of proptosis, the eye eventually has to be removed as there is often too much damage to the optic nerve for it to be a visual, functional eye. After doing a thorough ocular exam, I decided that manual replacement of the proptosis was worth a try. I explained everything to the owners, telling them we would have to put their dog under an anesthetic for this process. All papers were signed, and they agreed to pick up the dog in the morning. I gave the dog an anesthetic, and my husband and I made our way back to the surgery room. I prepped the area and lubricated the eye. Once everything was ready, I started putting gentle pressure on the eye to get it to pop back into its socket. Like many things as a brand new practitioner, I had seen this done at the teaching hospital a few times, but this was my first time replacing a proptosis. My husband watched this process in horror, cringing and looking away. This process was a lot harder than I expected, and it took a lot more force and pressure than I thought. I could just see my husband thinking, “She’s gonna pop that eyeball and it’s going to squirt everywhere!” He eventually got grossed out enough that he went to the lounge to watch TV. Finally, after lots of eye lubricant and patience, the eye popped back in. I breathed a sigh of relief. The moral of the story? Proptoses are not for the weak of heart. Sometimes even strong people like my husband can’t handle them. I advise other veterinarians not to force their spouses to watch this process unless you want to punish them for some reason. The Water Ski Maneuver
At around 5:15 P.M., a lot of emergency calls roll in, so no surprise on this particular emergency. A producer called and said he had a cow calving. He said she was down in the woods and he didn’t think she had the strength to walk to the corral where the facilities are. “She’s down, Doc. I don’t think she’ll get up.” Most large animal veterinarians have heard this before, and it’s almost always not true. Too many of us have heard this line, only to drive out to the pasture and as the cow or down animal sees our unfamiliar truck with unfamiliar people jumping out with ropes, the animal chooses this moment to take off for the hills. This was no exception. I was lucky enough to have extra help as not only did I have my husband with me, but also a veterinary student. The cow saw us and immediately got up and started walking away. She was at least slowed down a little by the calf hanging out of her back side. I could see the front feet and the tip of the nose just barely peeking out, which was a good sign. Nonetheless, we were already out there and committed. We had to either rope this cow and find a suitable tree to tie her to, or we needed to start herding her a quarter mile to the corral as it appeared she had enough strength to walk. A few attempts at roping were a bust as we were in a large open area of forest, and she was good at dodging the rope. Suddenly, my husband got a twinkle in his eye. Anyone married to an Irish man knows that this is a bad sign. Remember his calf pulling method that he proposed in the first story? This is where that comes into play. He crouched down a little, and slowly started to creep towards the cow, like a cat stalking a field mouse. Suddenly, he lunged forward, grabbing the front legs of the calf with all of his might and pulling. The cow suddenly realized what’s going on and starts to run away. At this point, my husband is essentially sliding behind the cow on his feet, like a water skier. He glided across the dead leaves behind her, moving with her as she dodged trees. Eventually, she picked up speed and he let go, falling right on his you-know-what. By this point, the calf was out to his hips, and as the cow picked up more speed to run away, we could see gravity starting to take effect. We all watched in suspense as the calf slowly glided out of the cow and hit the ground. By this point, the cow had had enough of us and continued to run away, not even noticing she had a calf at this point. My eyes widened and I just stared in awe for a couple of seconds, unable to believe what I just saw. I then jolt back to reality and run to the calf. The calf was alive, so the student and I worked on clearing the airway. The cow was still running, luckily toward the corral. My husband helped us drag the calf to the client’s ATV, where we lifted it up to the back. The student held the calf on the ATV while I hopped into my vet truck and the rest of the people stay on foot to continue to herd the cow to the corral. After all was said and done, we got back in the truck, and my husband looked over at me. He was too humble and nice to actually say, “I told you so!” out loud, but I knew what he was thinking. I said, “I have to admit, that was a ballsy move,” but then I did the wife thing and added, “but that was really dangerous! You should be careful because you could have been seriously hurt!” I guess it turns out I’m not always right. Some of my husband’s crazy ideas come to fruition and work out better than I think. How does the saying go? People who say it can’t be done shouldn’t interrupt those proving them wrong? I ate my piece of humble pie that evening, which I guess is good for you...occasionally. Last week was National Pet Week, and as I was trying to figure out a topic to coincide with National Pet Week, I looked over the website that the American Veterinary Medical Association created for it, and I realized that it was mostly geared toward children. And why not? Who loves their pets more than children? And who could possibly benefit from having a pet more than a child? There are so many benefits for children. From a medical standpoint, giving a child a pet can lower blood pressure, reduce recovery time, and relieve anxiety. Pets can also help children learn empathy, responsibility, social skills, confidence, and love from their pets. The next time your child begs you for a pet and promises you that they will feed that pet every day and that you won't have to do any work, don't believe them for a minute, but consider the benefits. During the week, I decided to celebrate by contacting some friends with children and asking their children one simple question: How does your pet make you smile? These are the cute responses! "When we play together." ~ Dakota, 8 years old, about Siri, an 8 year old American cocker spaniel, and Memphis, a 1 year old rescued bassett/bloodhound mix * * * "When we play fetch." ~ Alexander, 6 years old, about Siri, an 8 year old American cocker spaniel, and Memphis, a 1 year old rescued bassett/bloodhound mix * * * "By being so clumsy!" ~ R'Zia, 12 years old, about Mercy, a 3 year old Aussie mix * * * "Max makes me smile when we sweep next to her aquarium, because she sticks her tongue out and tries to lick the broom through the glass!" ~ Aneas, 9 years old, about Max the bearded dragon lizard * * * "Champ makes me smile and laugh because he always tries to lick my face!" ~ Adones, 8 years old, about Champ, a 6 month old American Staffordshire terrier/black lab * * * "When she runs away from Mommy when she takes her outside." ~ Bryleigh, 9 years old "She follows me everywhere." ~ Karson, 8 years old "The way she chases her tail." ~ McKenna, 6 years old, about their dog * * * "My dogs make me smile when I can rub their bellies and they smile at me. I also get to practice being a vet on them!" ~ Ophelia, 7 years old, about Sydney, a red golden retriever and Rusty, a blonde golden retriever. * * * "My cat makes me smile when she sneaks into my room in the night, wakes me up, and has me pet her. She keeps me company when I sleep and she is soft and snuggly." ~ Liam, 9 years old, about Tally * * * "Tally is my kitty. Tally's cute." ~ Anya, 2.5 years old * * * "I smile when Zoey plays with me and when she does what I say." ~ Cash, 10 years old, about Zoey, his dog * * * "Because they are bad doggies!" ~ Griff "Because they love me and are cute, and happy to see me, and everything really!" ~ Archer * * * "Not sure how Cade would answer your questions, considering most of his answers these days are 'yass' or 'yeah.' He loves his puppy though! He asks for him every morning when he gets up and when Oliver comes home with Andy in the evenings, Cade runs right to him to greet him first." * * * "Umm Sadie kiss me ummm love me and hug me" ~ Drew "Lick me. Play with me and snuggle with me." ~ Chase, about their dog Sadie Pets and an interest in wildlife at a young age are what motivated my interests in science and biology. I wasn't the typical student that knew I wanted to be a veterinarian since I was seven, but I knew I wanted to work with animals. Maybe you might be fostering that same love in your child by getting them a pet. You never know! While you're at it, check out the National Pet Week website to find a writing and poster contest for your child. Foster their creative skills as well. The deadline is June 15th. Happy National Pet Week! Enjoy your pets every day! As I mentioned a couple of weeks ago, April was Heartworm Awareness Month, but in that blog, I concentrated on canine heartworms because it is more prevalent than feline heartworms. We can’t forget our feline friends, even though, if given the ability to speak, the first thing they’d say to us is, “Leave me alone,” in a drawling British accent. Well, that’s what my cat Linus would say. To be fair to the cats and keep readers aware of heartworm prevention, I’ll share with you a conversation I’ve imagined with my cat, although I’m very sure it’s accurate based on his pretentious and condescending facial expressions and eye rolls. “Oh look Linus, it’s time for your heartworm medicine,” I say cheerily. “Good for you, you can read a calendar and count to 30,” he replies haughtily, “Am I supposed to be excited about this?” “Come on Linus, the mosquitoes are bad this year,” I say sweetly, trying to butter him up. “They could be carrying those dangerous little heartworms, and what if one of those mosquitoes bit you? You’d get sick if you didn’t have your heartworm medicine.” He sits silently thinking for a moment, but finally replies slyly, “But...it would probably come from a mosquito biting a dog with heartworms, then biting me, and that beastly dog Harley is on heartworm preventative, so I should be fine.” Exasperated, I reprimand him, “Don’t call Harley names. Harley is on heartworm preventative, and doesn’t fuss like a baby about it either, but -” “I’m no baby! You have made the cat angry. You do not want to make the cat angry!” “Chillax Puss-in-boots. No more TV for you. Just look away for a moment and I’ll put it on before you even notice. And as I was saying before you so rudely interrupted me, Harley is on heartworm preventative, but the neighbor’s pets may not be, and we live in the country, which seems to some people to be a wide open animal shelter because dogs are left on our gravel road all the time. They might very well have heartworms, and if you miss a dose you will be susceptible.” “It would be a dog’s fault if I got heartworms. It’s always a dog’s fault.” I crinkle the wrap just slightly, but Linus hears it, jumps to his feet and heads toward the stairs to probably hide under some clothes, but I head him off and put the packet of medicine in my pocket, showing him that it’s out of sight. I try to put some sweetness back in my irritated voice. “Well, if there were quite a few infected dogs in the area, that would just increase your chances of getting it. If I had to test you for it, you’d need to have bloodwork, x-rays, and a sonogram of the heart because it’s harder to detect in cats as they have lower worm burdens. Why don’t you just let me put the medicine on you and save us both some time?” “Aren’t infection rates lower in cats? I live on the edge,” he says haughtily. “Okay, fine, live on the edge, but it could cause a cough from lack of oxygen and other respiratory problems, vomiting, weight loss, possibly even sudden death….” I pause as I had an idea, “Oh no, it also causes lethargy, do you know what lethargy is?” “Who do you think you’re talking to, I know what lethargy is. I’m a cat!” He yells indignantly. “Linus, you may already have heartworms. You haven’t let me put the medicine on you right away this morning, and I feel like this conversation has dragged on for days. Maybe you already got it because you, my sir, are quite lethargic.” “But -” “Do you feel run down?” I ask in my serious doctor voice. “Well, yes, but-” “Do you want to take a nap right now?” “Of course, but I sleep around 14 hours a day so-” “You’re looking a little thin.” “Thank you, but oh...” he replies with worry.
“Oh well, it might be too late anyway.” “Ugh, you’re so dramatic. Where’s the medicine? I’ll let you put the medicine on me, but not for you. Someone’s got to be here to bring some respectability to this house, so I better take care of myself.” And that’s how you trick a finicky cat into taking his medicine. Remember, make sure your pet gets tested for heartworms and gets a regular dose of a heartworm preventative. |
Jessica Stroupe, DVM
Archives
August 2017
|