We live in a technological world, and thank God for that in some ways as technology can make our lives much easier. However, technology can also complicate our lives. Gone are the days where you go on vacation for a week and no one can contact you, or you receive an email or Facebook message and it could be a couple of days before you check them online. I’m a typical millennial - very rarely is my phone not attached at my hip. Fifty percent of the time, I am on call. I could also go into labor at any moment, so I need my device to reach someone to drive me the 40 miles to the hospital. More importantly, I need to be able to send inappropriate emojis and curse word-ridden memes to my husband for doing this to me when the pain becomes unbearable (No, not really, I’ll just call him and drop a few F bombs). Veterinarians and many other young professionals are more accessible to their clients (or non-clients) than ever before. This can be helpful in a lot of ways as veterinarians can reach their clients via email or social media if they so choose. Compassion fatigue is also at an all-time high in our profession. Is this a coincidence? Probably not. Veterinarians often get inundated with pet-related questions during their off hours via social media, email, or text message. Many times this also happens in-person at the grocery store after work. A colleague of mine even noted, “My biggest peeve is the massage therapist who wants to talk animals. There’s no relaxing during the time you’re paying someone to aid in relaxation/meditation.” Apparently this massage thing is more common than I thought, as a different colleague noted, “I’ve had two massages where I spent the hour answering pet questions. I even listed ‘self employed’ on the the paperwork the second time and explained why when she kept pressing about what my job actually is.” With the constant queries flooding our devices (and sometimes our ears during a massage), many find it difficult to unplug and rejuvenate. I’ve discussed this subject at length with many of my colleagues, and it seems no one is immune to this difficult situation. Most of us who struggle the most with this issue are those that practice in small towns or rural areas. This is likely because in a small-town environment, the lines between your professional relationships and friendships get blurred. I personally love practicing in my hometown and also love the fact that many of my clients are my friends and feel comfortable talking to me. The problem is, most of the people veterinarians receive Facebook messages from aren’t regular clients or close friends. Many times, it’s someone from high school you haven’t spoken to in ten years, and they have questions about their friend’s cat. Every veterinarian approaches this issue differently. Some have DVM facebook accounts that are separate from their personal accounts. Others refuse to add clients as friends on Facebook (which is easier to do when you practice in a big city). Some veterinarians are very open, even giving out their cell phone numbers to select clients. Others keep things very separate and professional, even limiting when their staff can call them after-hours with questions. My approach has certainly evolved in the four short years since I’ve graduated. I never give out my cell phone number to clients. Ever. Luckily, our clinic forwards calls to our phone, which eliminates the need to do that. For those clients that ask, “Can I just text you a picture of my pet instead of emailing it to you?” The answer is no. I’m onto you. When I first graduated, I would often hear that characteristic “ding” on my phone, followed by, “Hey! I hate to bother you on here, but…” By the way, if you have to preface a sentence with, “I hate to bother you, but…” then you’re probably bothering someone. I would reply to these messages almost immediately at first. When you’re young and fresh out of school, you don’t quite know how to or feel comfortable with creating boundaries. You may not want to spend your evenings that you would normally be spending with family replying to messages, but you want to show people that you care about their pets (because you do). Once the volume of questions got too high or I had enough of my evening pet conversations, I adjusted my approach to waiting until the following business day. Then I felt as if the Facebook messages were distracting me from caring for and treating my patients in the clinic. I found that while my efforts to answer every question and please every person were honorable, it wasn’t sustainable. Many times, the simple act of replying to these messages would encourage the behavior even more, giving me less and less time to do what I enjoyed doing when I was off work. Instead of social media being a place where I could keep up with friends, it became a 24/7 Pet Advice Line for many people. With age and experience comes wisdom, and eventually I said, “Enough is enough!” I now completely ignore all Facebook messages with pet-related questions. If you’re a close friend or family member that should know better (but doesn’t), I may reply but will likely tell you to call the clinic or bring your pet in. I have found that most veterinarians choose to ignore these messages as well. I assure you that we’re not trying to be rude, and it’s not that we don’t care about your animals. Most of us just need our time to be just that, ours. Additionally, most of us cannot diagnose a problem via pictures or Facebook conversation. Look, I get it. We live in a society of instant gratification. We see bald spots on our pet and want an answer about it immediately. We remember at the end of the day that we need to get our dog spayed and are curious about cost. Most people don’t realize how consuming those “quick little questions” can be. They forget that veterinarians are humans with hobbies and interests. And no, we don’t work all the time (even though there are weeks that it seems like it). But let’s not lose our sense of boundaries. Facebook is not an appropriate forum to contact your doctor or other business professionals unless they have made it clear that they conduct business via Facebook or other forms of social media. So this is my plea: Stop the insanity! If you get the urge to message your veterinarian or other business professional with a question, put it on your to-do list and call them during regular business hours. If it’s an emergency, Facebook is also probably not the best option for contacting someone who can help as quickly as possible. Call your veterinary clinic and you will likely be instructed on how to reach a veterinarian after-hours depending on that clinic’s policy. Your veterinarian will thank you for it. If you’re close friends or family members with a veterinarian, try asking them about their hobbies, their thoughts on world events, and their life outside of work. It’s okay to ask them questions about your pets from time to time, but it’s not okay if that’s the only thing you talk to them about. Let the veterinarian in your life be a whole human being and not a robot that spews medical facts. My advice to fellow veterinarians is this: Set boundaries that you feel comfortable with and can be okay with it. If you’re new to the profession, you’ll learn a lot of lessons the hard way. Don’t overextend yourself so much that you lose all your free time, your sanity, and risk developing compassion fatigue. You can’t be the veterinarian you need to be when you’re burning the candle at both ends and letting people take advantage of you. The older I get and the closer I get to becoming a mother, the more I realize that I need time with my family and separation from my job to be healthy. I used to feel guilty for setting boundaries and wanting my time to be my own, but you know what? Life is short. We have chosen a great profession, but there’s more to life than just veterinary medicine. I will also sum up my advice to clients and pet parents:
This is by no means a lecture. Just a reminder. In this age of social media, I’ve caught myself doing the same thing in various cases, but sometimes we all need reminders that texting or Facebooking a business professional, such as the OBGYN when I ate too much spicy food and I’m 99% sure the baby flipped back to breech position, is not the most polite thing to do during dinner time. Otherwise, this week at least, call the office as much as you want (because I’m not on call, bwahahaha).
2 Comments
Mom
10/23/2016 07:40:27 pm
Ummm. Dr. Stroupe, I hate to bother you, but I was wondering if you could tell me how to cure fleanial? Someone said I had it, and I am left scratching my head.
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Jessica Stroupe
10/24/2016 04:49:24 am
Haha! Too funny! That diagnosis can be rough, but with diligence and treatment you can make a full recovery!
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Jessica Stroupe, DVM
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