For in our world, it is a known cliche That many a vet mom will work on Mother's Day. For this year Mother's Day would fall On a weekend I happened to be on call. I woke to fresh coffee, and I was filled with joy, My phone started ringing, and I thought, "Oh boy." I answered the phone, saying, "This is Dr. Stroupe." "Hey Doc! My old cat Murphy can't poop!" My baby was crying, my toddler was throwing a fit. "Okay, Mrs. Maine. I'll be there in a bit." I went in, took rads, and looked at the screen. The most impressive case of megacolon I'd ever seen. I laid out the treatment plan, but my first action Would be to remove the fecal impaction. Instead of joining my family for a day of cinema, I'd be starting things off with a feline enema. I performed the task solo with a wing and a prayer, And the smell of cat doo filled the air. The constipation I did assuage, And I got Murphy settled in his cozy cage. There was cat feces splattered on my blouse, And I was relieved to finally head to the house. By the smell, my husband could tell what I'd done, Saying, "How 'bout you take a bubble bath, Hun?" For a long nice soak in the tub sounded great, As I had yet to use it to date. For I got rid of my nasty duds, And slowly sank down into the suds. I flipped open a book I had grabbed off the shelf. This day was finally redeeming itself. I could feel things were definitely on the upswing, Until I heard a familiar ring. My husband burst into the room, "Mrs. Finn needs help." Her English Bulldog, Daisy, is trying to whelp. I gave a long sigh, "Are you kidding me?! I sure hope she can pay my fee." After the exam and estimate, she called me a barbarian, Yet she consented to her dog's cesarian. "No name-calling, Ma'am. I'm not a schmuck. Each of these pups is worth two thousand bucks." I got ten live pups, and the dam was doing well. My phone rang again, and I thought "Aw, hell." "Dr. Stroupe! Please help!" the man said as his voice shook. "We were fishing on the pond, and my dog ate a fish hook!" "Bring him in," I said, biting into a 3 Musketeers. I said, "We'll get it out in no time!" calming his fears. As the man suddenly burst through the door, Mother's Day was becoming a holiday to abhor. "I-i-i-it's stuck in his mouth," he said through his stutters. I reached in the drawer to grab my pliers and side cutters. I released the hook from the dog's tongue. Gave the reversal and up he sprung. "Thanks, Doc. You're a lifesaver. But one more thing: Could you do me a favor?" I agreed, not knowing what this would entail. "Could you go ahead and trim my dog's nails?" I finished up, flipped the lights, and set the alarm, finally heading back to my farm. I picked up some ice cream on the way. For I longed to see my boys on Mother's Day. Greeting me at the door, they piled onto my lap. We read some books and all took a nap. Through the ups and downs, the chaos and calm. Of all the hats I wear, my favorite is "Vetmom."
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Jessica Stroupe, DVM
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August 2017
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