Bunnies...our cute and furry mascot for Easter. What a wonderful marketing tool, but as a lot of people already know, they’re not cute all the time in real life. As a veterinarian, I haven’t actually had lots of clients bring in rabbits, but the times that I have had experience with rabbits, or stories others have told me about rabbits, never seem up to par with the cute bunnies we see hopping around in the Cadbury commercials. Yeah, they are cute from a distance, but sometimes up close and personal turns into childhood trauma, heartbreak, and deadly fear. These are not your child’s Easter Bunny stories. This is my story… It seems pretty common with adults that I’ve talked to, all having similar stories about rabbits. Something from their childhood has traumatized them about this species of animal. I am one of them. When I was little, my mom and I were walking through the Columbia Mall, back in the old days when there was a pet store still there. It was every parent’s nightmare. I know now they were probably all thinking, “How do I distract my kid long enough to make it passed the pet store without them noticing?” Sadly, no kid ever missed it, so parents spent the next couple of hours arguing with their little ones, trying to reason with them why a puppy, or an iguana, or a rabbit would not be a good purchase. It always ended in tears of frustration on the parent’s side and tears of anger on the child’s side. On this particular day, I found a bunny that I wanted. It was a white rabbit, with a few gray spots, the cutest little bunny I’d ever seen, except for the other ten bunnies right there with it, which I would have tried to get as well, but my mom wouldn’t even consent to one. Sooooo, I threw a bit of a fit, but she said that there were plenty of little bunnies out in the wild. “Really,” I thought. “Then I must catch one.” Bound and determined, as soon as we got home, I found my Easter basket and went on a hunt. I searched high and low for what seemed like hours and didn’t see one bunny. My mom must have lied to me. I was frustrated and angry, so when she called for me to come in, I refused. “NEVER!” As you might guess, that didn’t go down very well, and she dragged me back in the house kicking and screaming. Basically, the bunnies didn’t traumatize me, but my mom did. I learned that day that I won’t always get what I want, and that is a terrible lesson to learn. Just terrible. This is a friend’s story… As a vet, I have fielded some phone calls about wild bunnies. I also worked at a wildlife sanctuary for work study in Florida when I was in college. It was always depressing getting baby rabbits in because they rarely survived (such an uplifting story). A lot of the time people would bring them in because they disturbed the rabbit hole or thought momma wouldn't take them back because they touched them (which, by the way, is not true) or they would just see momma not come to the hole for a long period of time, assume they were abandoned, and then essentially kidnap them. We'd try to feed them formula and they would usually die after a few days. They're prey animals so they get very stressed. The other issue is replicating the very rich milk that the mother rabbit puts off (wild rabbits only nurse their babies for about 5 minutes a day. Their milk is rich and they fill up fast). So when a friend told me about her experience finding a bunny, I knew how it was going to end. She had been playing in the yard when she came across a tiny little bunny, shivering near a flower garden at her house. She quickly picked it up and ran inside to her mother, exclaiming, “I found a bunny and I need to save it!” Like most people would do, her mother scolded her for picking it up, thinking that it would not be taken back by its own mother because of the human scent on it. The little girl started to cry. What would she do now? Feed it some grass, that’s what. So she proceeded to fill a box with grass and try to feed the bunny some milk. The bunny huddled in the corner of the box for the night, not really accepting any milk, but she thought it was. The next morning, the bunny was still huddled there, and she tried more milk and headed off to school to tell everyone about her new pet. Her mom thought, “I better get home before she does this afternoon because that bunny is not going to make it.” Like most adult days, one thing led to another and her mother didn’t get home before she did, and the little girl found a dead bunny in the box on her return from school. She cried her eyes out and she still remembers this story in detail to this day, so it obviously caused some emotional scarring. Don’t let that be your daughter. Be the mean parent and send the bunny out first thing. Tell your kid that bunnies carry some sort of disease or something. It’ll save you the pain later on. My friend’s story… This is a too-late warning for all you parents who thought it would be a good idea to grant the request for an actual Easter bunny. Your kids woke up this morning to a cute little bunny, and you were a rock star for a moment. That moment will soon end. A friend of mine received a bunny as an Easter gift once. She had begged and begged, and her parents finally relented. It was cute, and fluffy, and tiny, and it had beady, red eyes. She didn’t remember that from the Cadbury commercials, and it made her uneasy. It was cuddly though, so she rolled with it. It was scared and vulnerable, and she vowed to take care of it, so for the next few weeks she fed and watered it and cleaned its cage. She’d pet it, but it never did warm to her. Then one day, when she reached into the cage to pet her sweet, indifferent bunny, it bit her. She describes it as, “It snarled its dagger teeth, then clamped down on my hand, and didn’t let go until it drew blood.” She’s a bit much, but it obviously left her traumatized. She complained to her parents, but they insisted that she continue cleaning the cage, feeding, and watering her rabbit. It was a lesson in responsibility, and they were determined to teach it. From that day on, it was like a battle, her vs. the bunny. She only reached into the cage if she absolutely had to, but every time she did, that mean old rabbit would pounce and bite her every time. Then the rabbit started the distress squeal when dogs would bark, which was all the time. She thought this was enough to give her a panic attack, but the worst was yet to come. One morning, when she went to play in the yard and the neighbor’s dog started barking, she tensed her body, ready for the squeal, but it never came. When she went to the cage, she found her rabbit, laying on its side, red eyes wide, dead as a doornail. To this day, she can’t stand rabbits with those scary, red eyes. A Pet Owner’s Story - AKA - A Pet Owner’s Deception While at the wildlife sanctuary in Florida, I had an interesting run in with a visitor. I was working with animals in the back and I heard the doorbell. A lady came in with a cardboard box and said she had found these just outside her house, not on her doorstep in the box, but huddled together like they’d been born there. I looked in the box and then told her, “I'm sorry, but we only accept wildlife here, not domestic animals.” I hadn't been to veterinary school yet , but I knew white rabbits with black or gray spots on them were not wild. She wasn't very happy, and I ended up having to get the sanctuary director to tell her basically what I just told her and she left in a huff. We decided that she had probably let her pet rabbits breed and didn't want to deal with the babies. This is my story...about rabbit testicles...so just an extra tidbit in case you wanted to know... Rabbit testicles. They are quite different from others, and it makes neutering them an interesting process. Their testicles are long and narrow . They also have an uncanny ability to suck their testicles close to their body, so you have to make sure you have the perfect plane of anesthesia while neutering them. Their testicles also tightly adhere to the scrotum. In dogs and cats, you make your incision and the testicle easily pops through. In rabbits, you have to dissect with instruments around the testicle to get it exposed. It adds a slight twist and challenge to an otherwise very simple surgery. These are just some lessons about rabbits in case you were considering a new pet. Always think things through before purchasing a pet, but especially one that only appeals to you because of a short run of commercials that also center around chocolate. It may not actually be the pet that you really want. Just go get a pound of chocolate. Also, not all rabbits are demons and will die leaving you heartbroken, but maybe you learned a few things today. You may have learned about how to treat wild bunnies, how to avoid buying your children a pet on the fly, or just a random trivia question about rabbit testicles. I hope it was helpful. Happy Easter! Since I hated on bunnies for this whole blog, I'm adding some cute pics of a good bunny, the infamous Marlon Brando.
1 Comment
mom
3/27/2016 09:10:28 pm
The garden below your swingset was teeming with wild bunnies, sometimes...really!🤓
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Jessica Stroupe, DVM
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