If you’ve read the two previous blog posts, I’ve been focusing a lot on the subject of balancing home life and work life. You may be even a little tired of me talking about it. However, there is one talking point I gave in my presentation that I neglected to include in my last two blog posts on the subject. I mentioned in my first post about the metaphor comparing work-life balance to balancing on a train track. It’s always a struggle, and you are constantly at risk of falling too far to one side or the other. As I also mentioned, the thing I don’t like about this metaphor is you are always struggling, and you are constantly feeling guilty or disappointing someone. Again, I’m an optimist, and I like to think that you can truly find satisfaction in both work life and home life. Unsatisfied with that definition, I scoured the internet for other theories of what work-life balance truly means. The definition that made the most sense to me came from this resource:
https://worklifebalance.com/work-life-balance-defined/ In the article, the author, Jim Bird, explains that there are two critical components of work-life balance: Achievement and Enjoyment Achievement and enjoyment are like two sides of a coin. Without both, you’re living a one-sided life. The definition of work-life balance described in the article is as follows: Meaningful daily Achievement and Enjoyment in each of my four life quadrants: Work, Family, Friends and Self. This made so much sense to me. Why didn’t I think of this myself?! It made sense because at times when I am most contented and satisfied with my life, I am better balanced with both components. It made sense because so many highly successful people in my life are extremely unhappy. On the other side of the coin, it can also explain the quote “Idle hands are the devil’s playground.” Without both components, you don’t get the full value out of life and may act out in ways that show your unhappiness, your anger with your situation, or even your indifference toward your family and colleagues. In reading this article as a veterinarian, I can’t help but think about the countless articles about compassion fatigue, depression, and high suicide rates that plague my profession. I think most of us are comfortable with the definition of achievement, but we neglect enjoyment. Robert Louis Stevenson in An Apology for Idlers put it well in saying, “There is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy.” Part of why this definition made so much sense to me is the daily focus of those two components. Too many times, we can get caught in the “as soon as” trap. We all do it. “I’ll go on vacation or make that big trip as soon as I get that raise.” “I’ll start taking more time off work as soon as I hire that new associate.” “I’ll be happy as soon as I make XXX amount of dollars.” I think too many of us think that enjoyment or happiness follows achievement, but in my opinion, it’s the opposite. It’s okay to continue to have work goals, but focus on things that make you happy, whether it’s taking time to exercise, hobbies, or spending time with family. Is it possible that enjoyment and happiness lead to success? When we focus on both achievement and enjoyment daily, can we become happier and more productive individuals, and can that success at home translate over to work, leading to even more achievement and success? It can. Since researching for this talk, I have tried to focus on living out this definition. It’s difficult at first, but you get the hang of it after awhile. I’m always thinking about what I can achieve at work, but what about enjoying something at work? As the owner of my practice, what can I do to help my employees achieve and enjoy their work? When I walk in the door after work, I try to think about what I can achieve and enjoy with my family for the evening. It can be the simplest of things, like playing with my son and staying in the present, and not thinking about that patient at the hospital that I need to check on later (enjoyment). Or it could be trimming my son’s finger and toe nails (Achievement. Believe me, that’s an achievement). When was the last time you enjoyed something for just yourself? Whether it’s taking an hour out of the day to exercise, reading a book, getting a massage, going shopping, etc. So my request or plea to other veterinarians, mothers, or just my fellow humans is this. Know that enjoyment is not just “haha happiness.” It’s love, satisfaction, security, celebration, pride, and a sense of well being. Do what you have to do to cultivate that area of your life. Don’t get caught in the “as soon as” trap. Success, whether it be financial or career success, doesn’t automatically equate to happiness. Financial or career success doesn’t mean anything if you’ve let your family life, health, and personal well-being crumble to reach it. Work hard. Play hard. And begin each day by saying, “I want to achieve something today, and I want to enjoy something today.” It’s not as simple as it sounds, but it gets easier with time. Like I’ve said from the beginning, practice, practice, practice. Our road is a continual learning process so take the time to learn this to make the path a little easier and more satisfying to navigate.
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Jessica Stroupe, DVM
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August 2017
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